how do you know?
how do you know?
I'm not sure whether this is the right place for this question, but... How do you know?
Like, I would 100% be a woman if I could choose. I also always play a female character in games. When I see a girl I feel a strong sexual attraction, but I also feel jealous of her.
But, I'm honestly not sure if I am not cisgendered. I feel like I missed the boat. I also don't know if I am sure enough. Is this impostor syndrome? How do I know it's not just sexual attraction? Or me being unhappy with the role men have in this world? Or me being depressed otherwise? It all seems like a big tangled mess.
Thanks a lot for all the comments. I made an appointment with my GP next week and hope that he can refer me to a therapist. All the best to you all <3
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Cisgender people basically don't ever think about being the opposite gender. The fact that you're even questioning is practically guaranteed that you're at least some level of transgender. Whether or not it's bothering you enough to pursue it is something that you have to figure out for yourself unfortunately. It will all come down to how badly you want it, how accepting your friends and family are, and how accepting the society you live in is or how much you're willing to put up with from society at large.
Yeah, I was wondering if people did. Reactions is what is part of what scares me to even find out though. Seeing how brave others are on here though certainlh helps.
I think at least when it comes to you deciding if you are or aren't transgender just in your own head, I would consider a perfect scenario where everyone is 100% accepting and you'll face absolutely no challenges as a result of transitioning. But once you've decided whether you are or aren't transgender then I would start considering your options and what you're comfortable with. Just because you're transgender that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to transition. Just knowing that in your own head or disclosing it to people you trust can be enough for some people.
My limited experience talking to people who I don't think would lie about it suggests to me men don't generally think about it. And according to at least one comment I saw on this topic, someone mentioned how some femboys have never considered the idea.
Like, my brother can be GNC at times, but like he like being a GNC man. Even when I asked him to consider if he could have a matrix-like VR experience what type of body would he want, he thought the idea of having a feminine body seemed fun, but he still wanted to be a man and just thought trolling could be fun.
My cousin consistently plays stereotypical male characters in video games and cares about how they look.
My best friend similarly always plays a male character and seems proud about how their character presents. And has teased me for sometimes making a girl character (in one case, I suppose it was more making fun of me using a feminized version of my own name for the character... that was a decade before I considered I might not be entirely cis).
I would assume that anyone negatively affected by sexism / gender roles (nearly everyone) has thought about being a different gender.
I assumed "thought about being a different gender" in this context meant "actively desiring it irrespective of negative impacts of sexism and gender roles." Such that, even if one could magically take away those negative impacts, the desire would remain.
For what it's worth I (cis, a man) have felt less than a man on occasion and have always been more of the quiet, sensitive, bookish type. Sure, I have pondered being another gender briefly here or there -- as a thought experiment or trying to empathize, perhaps -- but I have never seriously wanted to trade being a man for any reason. I want to stay how I am, actually.
Hopefully this is helpful to some.
There are quite a few mainstream series and movies that touched upon the subject (albeit mostly poorly). So in that regard most people will have at least thought about it once. Probably not for long though.