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For those who think I can enjoy my PC and life. I code, design electronic devices, play with ai. But because of depression, nothing makes me happy. Only when I overdose drugs it is better. Life bbecomes more enjoable. However I can't overdose drugs every day. Sometimes I go outside, walk along a river, but it doesn't help. I still want to die.
I am the OP
I got out of a six year long depression 5 years ago. I went to the doctor stating I needed help, desperately. I had quite a few therapy sessions, and it wasn't very fun, but I focused on what approach seemed to have effect on my mental state and used that to break free. Totally worth it.
I don't know where it's from, but: "If you're going through hell, keep walking."
You got this.
If you're going through hell, keep walking.
This is what I will do. But if it doesn't get better then in a few years I will kill myself.
I hope things work out for you friend. Best of luck.
Thanks you! ⊂(・﹏・⊂)
My brother recommended Lions Mane, a mushroom supplement, so maybe try that. I think he is depressed about his life circumstances though, so I don't know how it compares to those who may have their brain chemicals just messed up genetically.
I think our culture is not set up well to support human brains. We like to solve problems and slowly improve our lives. But our culture is really designed to just be a daily grind of either extensive education as a child or extensive work as an adult. In the end, your life stays materially the same. I think that messes a lot of us up.
I think exercise helps people not just for the endorphin release (I've never had that), but for the project you give yourself. You finally feel like there is some area you can control and improve, giving a little taste of what society is keeping from us (the power to improve our lives). It's at least nice to track improvement in something.
Life can be a beautiful thing. If it comes to thinking of killing yourself for real, definitely seek help in whatever way you can. If even that fails, do a drastic life change first. Hiking a long distance trail (equipment can be expensive, but it's cheap after that) was a dream for me when I was suffering the most. I even bought all the equipment and read all the books I could and started doing twice yearly backpacking trips to prepare. It helped. I finally felt like I had an out that wasn't suicide. Maybe you can find a niche that helps you.
Told myself the same back in the day. Never got to that point, luckily.
Maybe you should look into microdosing psilocybin. Overdosing on drugs (whatever that means to you) is probably not healthy and will only exacerbate your depression.