1y ago

‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps

www.theguardian.com ‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps

For a decade, apps have dominated dating. But now singles are growing tired of swiping and are looking for new ways to meet people – or reverting to old ones

‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps::For a decade, apps have dominated dating. But now singles are growing tired of swiping and are looking for new ways to meet people – or reverting to old ones

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1y ago

'It's quite soul-destroying': how we fell out of love with dating apps

www.theguardian.com /lifeandstyle/2023/oct/28/its-quite-soul-destroying-how-we-fell-out-of-love-with-dating-apps

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TBH app based dating has entirely ended the possibility of dating for me. It’s just not worth the effort and constant rejection. Add on being lower than normal attractiveness, and 5’5” to boot, it just isn’t something that makes it worthwhile anymore.
I’m no catch myself, and would need to do a lot of working on myself first if I wanted to date, but it’s not something that seems worth the effort now. It’s been so commodified that I just don’t have the will or want to put in the work.
- My advice to people here is usually all the same: stop worrying about it. Do stuff that you enjoy. I don't even want to say work on yourself, because it implies that you are actually doing that in order to find somebody. Don't even do that. Just do what you want to do.
  Find meetup groups you want to do for you, not for the possibility of meeting people. Find ways to have fun. Work out because you want to be stronger and healthier. Sign up for community college classes on topics you find interesting.
  If you do meet someone interesting in the process, cool! But don't let that be your focus.
  And yeah dating apps all suck for many, many reasons.
  
  That seems like super generic advice. Why would you give it to anyone? Are you more qualified somehow than the people you give it to?
  
  It's an advice it's up to you or anyone who recives it if you want to follow it or not
  
  Sure, but even so you're nudging people in a direction that may or may not be the right direction. Some justification for advice is in order, right? I don't know, perhaps @figaro@lemdro.id is a social psychologist who has spent years researching this topic?
  
  Lol what do you want from me 😅
  
  I don't know. Some justification for your advice maybe? I know you intend well, but I am genuinely wondering how you know whether your advice is right and why you feel qualified to give advice.
  Just one thing, you can say dating apps all suck, but I found my wife on a dating app, so maybe weave that into your story as well if possible :)

156 comments