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My favorite argument is that I was given access to Super God when I a child. Which gives me access to Super Heaven when I die. It's waaaaay better that regular heaven. You keep praying to regular god or whatever, you mud dwelling peasant. I'll be looking down on you from Super Heaven and laughing for Extra Eternity.
Eternity just seems like so much work, when can I just die?
but have your tried Extra Eternity for Men?
The Order of the Stick pointed out that the ability to hyper focus gets stuck at 11 for the dead. The main character spent about 6-8 months dead and didn't notice until 4 months had passed. No need to sleep, eat, or use the restroom makes time pass unnoticed.
Ah yes, the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, reserved only for married (m-f) Mormons, where polygamy is allowed but only for men to have multiple wives, not vice versa.
Much better than those telestial peasants. Muahaha