What now?
What now?
Well I think I might be autistic, I've wondered why I feel so different from other people, why it feels like I am taking my entire life, why when I lose focus, or am not being focused on i become completely silent and struggle to make even simple comments, and why I have had to watch and learn from others to become remotely social. I guess those are all signs of autism. I took that RAADS-R test and got a score of 141, which is slightly above the mean for autistics, I also took a few other of those quizzes.
But my question is what happens now? What do I do? I don't feel comfortable asking my parents if I can get examined, I can't really afford to do it myself, but I guess I could try. I don't want to just start saying that I'm autistic, and have to mention that it's self diagnosed because I think we all know the stigma around that.
Heck I'm still in the stage (or I assume it's a stage because it matches that one post here where they talked about their stages of realizing they have autism, and I related completely to it) where I'm not sure if I am not just faking this whole thing. So what do I do now?
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Honestly? Just keep living your life. It can come as a real shock to discover you are autistic, but you have to remember that you have been your whole life and have made it this far. It will take time to come to terms with - if you need help processing, that's exactly what therapy is for. Many health insurance plans these days cover a few sessions a year. If you're still on your parent's health insurance plan and are worried about asking them, you can just say you're working through some stuff happening at work/school/friends/whatever. Or that a lot of your friends have benefited from it and you want to try it and see.
With time you'll come to accept that this is just part of who you are. It doesn't define you, and it's not a new thing that's going to throw your life off course. In contrast, it will likely actually improve your life over time. Understanding this about yourself will help you see and understand a lot of feelings and behaviors you've been unable to explain in the past. And now that you know about these things, you can seek to improve yourself or set healthy boundaries depending on what's appropriate. It's a journey for sure, and there will be parts that bring new meaning to "ignorance is bliss". But in the long run you will be a better person for it, more comfortable in your own skin.
Thank you, finally knowing why I do things is fantastic. I'm excited to continue to learn about what autism is and what it'll mean for me, even if it's painful at times. Thanks for the response