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Baubles and Scrooge Discussion from December 25th to December 31st, 2023 - The War on Christmas: Counteroffensive - COTW: Finland

Image: one of our POW camps filled with captured soldiers of the Christmas regime.

Season's greetings, fellow godless communists. I'm here to disseminate orders from our Supreme Communist Dictator as we once again find ourselves fighting against the very concept of Christmas. As a reminder, by the end of our five-year plan, we plan to be in a position to attack and dethrone God, but this intermediate step is required to fulfil this directive. Our forces in the field have made significant, if gradual, progress since you received your mission update last year. It has been difficult, but we have developed a series of defensive lines to prepare for a counteroffensive out of Lapland that will try and reach the Gulf of Bothnia in an attempt to cut the land bridge that we have set up across Scandinavia.

Currently, we foresee a few major threats. General Santa Clauswitz has been developing many tools in his workshop, including artillery-launched snowballs, barbed tinsel, and reinforced gingerbread armor plating for his tanks and infantry carriers. President Frostyy has made the following public statement: "The socialists who wish to destroy us have no idea what their defenses are about to face. Democracy will always defeat autocracy. Christmas will always triumph over X-mas. The leaders of the axis facing us are all on the naughty list and will be tried for crimes against festivity once this war is over."

Delusional as this may be, the next couple days will be the most dangerous as they stage their counteroffensive, and we need everybody to pitch in and get into defensive positions. We expect this to be the last major push that they will make before collapse. Please report any Christmas trees, mistletoe, or general symbology of the Christmas regime to your superiors.

Over and out.


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947 comments
  • I still can't believe the incredibly bad optics of bombing Bethlehem. But what is even more mind bending is that american evangelicals will support the literal bombing of the birthplace of their savior because it furthers their lust for the end times.

    • But what is even more mind bending is that american evangelicals will support the literal bombing of the birthplace of their savior because it furthers their lust for the end times.

      well, if you think about it the sort of fundie who unironically believe in the endtimes via israel idea would, if anything, find it poignant that israel is bombing bethlehem

      the real mind palace thing is the inability to reach the 'are we the baddies' moment of realizing that, you know, you enabled the end times army that bombed bethlehem

947 comments