How do I get respite from my elderly neighbor invading my space?
Every time I go outside to my yard, my elderly neighbor comes out and tries to talk with me. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. I go out to relax and do gardening and yard work, and his presence makes me increasingly anxious & leaves me feeling particularly uncomfortable/unsafe.
He is dealing with dementia, and has become increasingly vulgar and outspoken, and even made some vastly inappropriate remarks about his wife & my other neighbor while my child was right there.
His wife is tired. I know this. Christ, I would be, too. He was kind of insufferable even before the dementia got bad (think him talking about his shitty political views), but, god.. I am so tired of babysitting him while I try to unwind in my own yard. He'll talk over the fence or simply waltz past it and follow me around while I try to do stuff or as I'm trying to talk to my kid.
One thing I know is this: do not piss off your neighbors, because, chances are, you will probably be living next to them for a looooong time.
What can I do? I just want peace without feeling like I'm being accosted.
Yeah. That's a tough one. I can't think of any way to deal with it other than being direct. "I'm sorry but I'm trying to spend time with my kid, just the two of us. Would you mind letting us have this time together alone?" or "I have a lot on my mind right now and I need time to think. Could you please leave me alone?" or "I'm not interested in talking right now. I have things I'm doing and I'd like to be alone." To avoid escalating, you may have to couch it in "I'm not mad at you, I just have other things going on." But with the vulgarity, I'd cut that off immediately. "Excuse me, we do not use that kind of language, especially with children around! If you're going to talk like that you can do it somewhere else. That language is not welcome at our house."