6mo ago

Married people, where do you land?

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Why is makeup so low? To me that's super attractive if a guy likes wearing makeup because it shows that he is secure in his masculinity and probably isn't a misogynistic asshole, but maybe I'm just into feminine men?
(Also I'm not saying that if guys don't like wearing makeup then they're insecure, it's just that makeup is a visible thing so it's easier to tell that they're most likely more secure)
- The majority of women on this earth will permanently lose her ability to like or respect a man if she ever perceives him as being too feminine. The definition of "being too feminine" varies from woman to woman but often includes crying, expressing any emotion other than anger, wearing makeup, driving a sedan, any number of fashion things, having or liking cats, liking or caring for children, so and and so forth.
  I remember back in high school or college, around the time the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies were coming out and Johnny Depp was America's heart throb, I knew exactly two girls who specifically said they liked the eye shadow he was wearing. Relatedly, I've worn my hair long a few times in my life, and those specific two girls liked playing with my hair. Most of the rest of the women I've ever been with didn't really want much to do with it.
  
  I’ve worn my hair long a few times in my life, and those specific two girls liked playing with my hair. Most of the rest of the women I’ve ever been with didn’t really want much to do with it.
  i think it depends on how you wear the hair, and how you carry yourself, there are a handful of masculine long hair styles that just don't work outside of a masculine aesthetic i think. Or at least have a perceptibly different aesthetic due to the person they're attached to.
  This is a lot less common among younger generations though. People care a lot less.
  
  I brush my hair straight to get the tangles out then tie it back in a simple pony tail at the base of my skull. I don't really style it much myself.
  
  i think it's a little bit more involved than the literal hair style personally, some people just look good without hair, some people just look good with hair.
  I for example just look better with long hair. Something about the way my face is structured, and the natural position that my hair sits in, just makes for a better look that way.
  Probably subjective, but i think that's the only thing that matters lol. I think as long as you manage to find that style, and carry it well, other people will generally follow.
  
  Interesting, I'm wondering if that's a generational difference or if it's because I tend to hang around other queer people since I haven't really experienced that with women.
  I'm a trans woman and I wasn't out when I was in highschool but I did present myself as a somewhat feminine man then and there were quite a few guys that I upset by simply existing, however women were more interested in talking to me after I started presenting more femininely. Although I think this is because they thought I was a gay man, and thus felt safer around me.
- Why is makeup so low? To me that’s super attractive if a guy likes wearing makeup because it shows that he is secure in his masculinity and probably isn’t a misogynistic asshole, but maybe I’m just into feminine men?
  i really hate makeup, it's nothing other than an artistic expression of what you think you look good as.
  which if you want to do it, i'm not stopping you i have better things to care about. But it's also not that deep, there is no connection between men wearing makeup and being secure in their masculinity, there is a connection between men who won't wear makeup because it's bad for their masculinity and their insecurity in masculinity.
  I feel like this is like saying "men who shave their faces are secure in their masculinity"
  
  Did you see what I put in paren at the bottom?
  Also I strongly disagree with the statement that there is no connection between men wearing makeup and them being secure in their masculinity.
  ... there is a connection between men who won't wear makeup because ... their insecurity in masculity.
  This is exactly why I like men who are into makeup, because they're not going to be insecure in their masculinity most likely.
  For me this comes from having lots of bad experiences with masculine presenting men and it takes me a long time to feel safe around a guy, but if they are more feminine presenting I feel much safer around them because all the feminine guys I know have never done anything to make me feel unsafe.
  
  Did you see what I put in paren at the bottom?
  yeah, i just have problems with people drawing super wide and broad conclusions like this, even if they're generally true.
  Also I strongly disagree with the statement that there is no connection between men wearing makeup and them being secure in their masculinity.
  i think there's a correlation there, but i don't think it's directly linked. It's not an additive thing, insecurity in masculinity is a reductive thing. It removes aspects from someones life, that's why it's an insecurity.
  The more accurate statement here is that men who are secure in their masculinity are more likely to wear makeup.
  For me this comes from having lots of bad experiences with masculine presenting men and it takes me a long time to feel safe around a guy, but if they are more feminine presenting I feel much safer around them because all the feminine guys I know have never done anything to make me feel unsafe.
  that makes sense, but i think this is probably a whole other topic of discussion, i was mostly just annoyed by the way it was worded lol.

295 comments