Bulletins and News Discussion from September 23rd to September 29th, 2024 - The War In The North

I swear for the defeatists on the site, Israel could claim that every Hezbollah commander is currently afflicted with Peepee-Poopooitis and shits their pants every 10 minutes and they'd go "fuck. well, how do we think this massive setback will impact the Resistance? seems likely that they will have to surrender in a few weeks."

and we'd go "what the hell are you talking about? they're just making shit up again, that's not even a real disease."

and they'd go "look, I'm as unhappy as you are about this development but we can't just sit back and cope about these things. we're communists, not reddit liberals, we need to make sure we see and analyze information that may inconvenience us if we're going to be serious. anybody know what Marx had to say about Peepee-Poopooitis?"

and we'd go "no, like, this literally isn't true. it's demonstrably not true. here's evidence. just because Israeli propaganda is trying to make you think that the information they're spreading is objective, it doesn't actually make it objectively true, it's still just propaganda. they aren't going to attach a label to their articles that says "this is propaganda, by the way!", they're going to try and convince you with every single technique in their arsenal to make you believe it's true."

and they'd go "oh, what are you gonna do, ban me for wrongthink against the Peepee-Poopooitis scourge? stop huffing that copium. honestly I'm even beginning to think that Iran and Russia might have to surrender too because what if Peepee-Poopooitis spreads to them? see, I've even got a long article by the American Institute of War and the Objective Analysis of Peepee-Poopooitis proving that it's not only real, but spreading across the world. oh fuck, it's also hit the Chinese government."

and we'd go "this is literally hasbara, dude. half the authors behind that AIWOAPP study are directly connected to the Israeli government, and the other half were on Epstein's island. it's not a real problem. they spread the same propaganda about Peepee-Poopooitis during the 2006 war, and the wars before that, and they weren't real then."

and they'd go "well, we've spent the last few days on the megathread discussing the Scourge of Peepee-Poopooitis (see, it's now got a capitalized title, it HAS to be true now) with hundreds of comments on it, so it must have some degree of truthfulness. but okay, maybe the latest Hezbollah attacks do show it was an exaggeration. ...hey, it seems like there's a new article by the NYT that reveals that every Russian general is just crying and puking all the time, it's really getting in the way of their operations."

and we'd go "this is the exact same narrative as the Peepee-Poopooitis, just reworked with different symptoms! they're just reusing it for a different geopolitical situation!"

and they'd go "nah, I never actually believed in Peepee-Poopooitis, that was obviously silly. but THIS time around, it might actually be real, and we can't be huffing that copium and hopium and insisting that it isn't just because we don't like it!"

and we'd go "why don't we just wait for the official response of Hezbollah/Russia/Iran/China/etc to the ongoing situation? they'd explain what's going on clearly, and if what's happening is real, which it still very obviously isn't."

and they'd go "oh, what, and believe a BIASED account from one of the parties in the conflict?! of course they're not going to report their own problems with accuracy, they have a motive! you really are gullible. anyway, here's another report, this time by the This Is Literally A Propaganda Outlet Of the Israeli State Organization, an esteemed and unbiased thinktank which produces hourly articles on these sorts of issues. Hezbollah can take an entire DAY to write up a statement, whereas these guys absolutely flood my inbox every single day with analysis, so it must be better because I have to instantly react to every single geopolitical event, or how will people know that I'm a very intelligent geopolitical analyst?"

and on it goes, for over 2 years. they get to look like the world-weary grizzled cynical adults in the room for believing every piece of bad news and catastrophizing about how it means the imminent global collapse of anti-imperial resistance, and we get cast as the copium-overdosers who are ignoring reality and creating echo chambers because we don't want to hear any bad news, even though we're generally right when we say "this either isn't really a problem that exists, or it is a problem but it can be overcome" and they're generally wrong