In terms of figuring out which instances are cool with one another, this site is also quite useful. It's a web of trust model that a majority of major instances participate in.
It shows which instances endorse one another, with those instances obviously being federated. It also shows how instances choose to describe/tag themselves, which can give you a better understanding of their general vibe. And it also shows which instances are viewed with suspicion, as they are hesitated or censured by other instances.