So f##king anxious!
So f##king anxious!
I'm an hour early for the bus and trying to decide on what to eat so I can past the 2 hours until I get to the eating point. Can't decide what to eat. Too anxious. Dumplings, I'll eat dumplings. Something about using chopsticks I really enjoy.
Bus leaves in 30 minutes, the stop is 5 minutes walk away. I have my dumplings. Still so anxious. I arrive at the bus stop and eat my dumplings. Its now 15 minutes til the bus leaves, I'm exactly on time.
Finally some relief when I'm sitting in the bus checked in and ready to go.
I'm going on holiday to ride mountain bikes for 5 days. I should be excited.
Anyone else gets this?
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I sometimes wonder if this simply comes from a lifetime of being late, missing appointments and generally expecting oneself to forget something important.
I also hate being scared to do something because I might forget time and miss the important appointment. Usually it is possible to set a timer. But sometimes it feels dumb to set a timer for 10 minutes but then I hate waiting. Luckily for me it all is still on the scale of annoying rather than hindering my life in any major way. But still a lot of time goes into just being early and not doing shit because other shit is up later.
Honestly I think you might be right
Since I've started my meds and some behavior changes along with them I have only been late 3 times, all traffic related. And I still managed to get stuff done those days.
Those first few weeks though were pretty damn stressful as I was suddenly finding I could manage my time.
Before getting diagnosed, the running joke was that I'd be late for my own funeral. I even joked with my family that in the event I did pass to have whoever brought my ashes to the BBQ to show up fashionably late in my honor as one last joke.
Yes I've also gained that reputation..
I really try to be on time, I just get distracted
Yeah 'waiting mode'.. Ruins all my productivity
Maybe. Probably varies from person to person, as one would expect. Excessive anxiety is a real problem for some though, with, AFAIU, plenty of actual diagnoses going around for such symptoms.
In my own case, as a recently loosely tentatively self-diagnosed ND, anxiety was one of the obvious problems and give-aways. If there's some possibility of something not being "correct", a pile of obsessiveness and anxiety around that issue immediately ensues, not just around whether it will occur correctly, but also around what I can or have to do to make sure it will be done correctly. Whether it's punctuality or cleaning something or learning something. Sometimes I get anxious about whether I can actually remember anything and actually try to just sit there and remember everything I know, which obviously doesn't work (our brains don't work that way) and causes me anxiety.
something not being "correct"
make sure it will be done correctly
Dude you hit the nail.
I definitely get this.
On reflection, there was definitely. Anxiety about somehow arriving in a situation I didn't like or was outside of my control. But no actual reality about that at all
Yea ... the control side of it is a big factor too I think.
And for me, it's not like I can't "go with the flow" at all ... it's just that can only happen in the right situation where all/any circumstances are going to be ok or there aren't external requirements like being functional for work the next day or whatever that have to be done correctly.