That is true. I guess some part of me was wishing that I was actually normal all along and that my differences were only in my head.
I guess now I need to learn how better to live with this.
Try to see it the other way round. I was always considered smart but lazy and distracted. I always struggled with myself because I thought I wasn't living up to my potential because I was lazy and couldn't mobilize enough willpower to succeed. That always stressed me out even more.
Now that I know I am autistic and most people with my profile are not even able to work at all, let alone get a university degree, I can instead be proud of what I achieved.
Just take it as an opportunity to be kinder to yourself.
It's absolutely eerie how the description you make of yourself fits me. I am all the more determined to consult and make sense of this. Thanks for sharing