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the worst is when you start vomiting at the same time
The dreaded Double Dragon
lol. one time i had food poisoning, only i didn't know it was food poisoning. i hadn't had it in so long. i just felt kinda chilly and tired on a wintery evening, so i climbed into bed an hour early. 2 hours later i woke up, confused and groggy. not sure what was wrong, but my body was hitting me with every "impending doom" signal. goosebumps, tingling up the spine, growing anxious. no pain, but the inner alert sirens were going off. i'm older so i have some complacency about knowing my body, but also accepted that one day i will die probably from a cerebral or myocardial event so i wondered if that's what was happening.
so i did what i always do when i feel bad and am trying to comfort myself, i get in a warm shower and let it warm me. so i'm in there, the feeling of doom is still rising and i'm starting to be convinced that im about to have a stroke or an aneurysm when suddenly i burst at both ends with incredible severity. my first actual thought was, "oh thank god" because then i realized what was happening ("its just acute food poisoning"). and how good it was that i was already in the shower lmao.
This was a gross and entertaining story. I was there. Thanks