I'm not sure you want to take a middle ground between being transphobic and being a trans ally, as that's just transphobia. The transphobes should, in fact, be shunned and demonized for being bigots.
Your problem is that you're calling it what is not to have an easier time ridiculing and sounding cool. Malice and fear are not the same. Don't give the malice camp allies from the fearful camp.
Neither malice nor fear are good when directed at minority populations, and pretending one is better than the other when they breed each other is again a meaningless centrist take.
I'm flattered that you think I sound cool, though 😎
Ever heard of "Germany Must Perish"? Hitler was evil, but the fears he used to achieve his ends weren't unfounded. When you go after the fearful, you leave them thinking their only allies are the evil. If you're gonna insist that way, I can't even blame them. Your gotta understand the mechanisms.
I understand the mechanisms perfectly well, you're just arguing that lighter transphobia and homophobia should be acceptable and shouldn't be demonized. Transphobia and homophobia should be demonized.
Homophobia is people having a problem with how you have fun. You and Nexus mods have a problem with how some other people are having fun. Look in the mirror. They aren't making you play their version. They're just offering it where others might have a chance to find it. It's exactly the same. Why should I tolerate your intolerance?.
Normal non-bigoted people let others play videogames however they like. I don't see anyone removing mods that make games more gay. Or rather, if I did I'd be mad at that too. I love gay games. One of my favorite websites is faproulette.co. NSFW warning. Let them have their shit. You don't gotta agree with it.