I feel like a Linux desktop requires too much tinkering
It depends which distro you're on and what their priority is. I'm told that Linux Mint is very friendly to users. Ubuntu is also financially invested in making their OS as streamlined as possible. PopOS too.
The more a distro is targeting a specific user experience, the less tinkering it has. You just generally only see those deliberate user experiences in the mobile space (android, steamdeck, etc.) where the user's expectations are well defined. A desktop could be used for anything, and most people don't even have a desktop these days, so there's not a lot of financial incentive to design a user experience there.
But at the end of the day, when someone says they "use Linux", they almost never mean that they interface directly with the Linux kernel, but that whoever maintains the distro they run happened to choose to Linux.
Yes, desktops and laptops are two different form factors that address completely different use cases. Laptops made up the "mobile" market before the smartphone era. The power/thermal requirements, as well as peripherals for a laptop all need a completely different solution to create a reasonable user experience. Desktop UX innovations haven't seen much recently beyond all-in-ones. Most people these days don't even have a desk they could put it at, let alone enough room at the desk. And the under 18 crowd does everything on their phone or on a tablet, often not even needing a laptop.
Rather than tinkering, I often just omit the games that don't work well and buy AMD rather than Nvidia. I've got a Windows partition, but the last times I've booted into it were to update firmware on a fighting game controller and to play Dragon Ball FighterZ, which is basically the only game I have left in my library that I'll play with friends and won't work on Proton (online, anyway). Tinkering isn't even a thing I'm thinking about one way or another, but the nagging and removal of control that Microsoft annoys me with is something I actively seek to avoid. Different stokes, I suppose.
Prior to Proton, it was a popular recommendation to use GPU passthrough to a virtual machine running Windows, with Linux as the host OS, but I never did it myself. Which games are your holdouts? Live service stuff with anti-cheat?
The controller lag might just be a symptom of the same problem, but it's strange regardless. Bummer. In my neck of the woods, Proton has been so good that I often find myself not even checking compatibility ratings before buying a game. I'm actually struggling to remember the last time that Proton failed me, since the things it struggles with these days, like certain kinds of anti-cheat or DRM, are the exact reasons I wouldn't buy a game even if I was on Windows. Kubuntu/AMD, if you were curious.
I feel like a Linux desktop requires too much tinkering.
That is true, but some people just like to tinker.
Overall I love Linux. I love it in an environment where it's directly supporting me and my hardware. I simply do not get that with my common gaming desktop.
That is somewhat the beauty of it. I don't game, I just go to work and go home, so I have some free time to tinker and share what I have done/found/made.
I use Linux as my daily driver. I use the Steamdeck as my desktop when I am out of the country and on business trips.
The desktop does not require "tinkering" unless you want to. By default it is better set up than windows is. Windows has yet to get a decent file manager for example.
I game on my linux desktop. Its not uncommon and it works great.
Not really random parts.... heck my deckstop gpu doesn't even need drivers. No tinkering at all. Windows is far worse at having to screw around with drivers.