I don’t shit at work. Now, back in the day when I had my own private bathroom in my office (luck of the draw), I never shit at home.
I got paid 5.50 an hour (was shitty money even then, but a man could eat) to shit there, and by Krishna I was gonna shit there.
One day the boss said, “I don’t pay you to poop.” And I said, “Bud, you’ve paid me for every shit I’ve taken for the last four years. I’d like to take a moment to thank you while we’re on the subject.”