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Empathy, citizen. Empathy.
Why add to the stressful shit of the Universe. Just be kind.
precisely. there was no need for her to stress out OP by telling him he had to hurry. she could have moved the meet to a less busy restaurant, or waited for a table to open like the rest of us, or possibly even politely asked instead of dictating rudely.
there was no need for her to stress out OP by telling him he had to hurry.
Honestly I wouldn't myself have done that to someone else, but depending on how the request was asked would depend if it was actually rude or not.
it's a quote so that's probably exactly how it was asked
Just because it's in quotes doesn't mean that's how it happened.
Here's an example:
"it's a quote so that's probably exactly how bitchy she was".
it’s a quote so that’s probably exactly how it was asked
That's an assumption, we don't know that.
Usually when someone's telling a story they want to put themselves in the best of light, especially if they are criticizing someone else in the story.
Literally asking any stranger to finish their food sooner so you can take their seat is unacceptable.
It just reeks of entitlement where you're more important than them. They shouldn't have to eat any differently because you want to have their seat.
I can tell this was asked by a woman whose dad gave her everything she wanted.
she could have moved the meet to a less busy restaurant
You really would try to do something like that with less than 15 minutes until the other persons arrival?
other person arrives
Scenario 1: In those 15 minutes the likely thing happened that a table became available and the woman is waiting at it and didn't need to interrupt and stress out anyone.
Scenario 2: Unfortunately there're still no seats available, so the woman proposes to her friend to either wait a bit longer or find another restaurant nearby.
Scenario 3: the person finishes up their meal quickly allowing the other person who is waiting for the table to have it.
Asking someone for a favor isn't stressing someone. If that actually does stress them then they have worse problems than being asked to finish their meal quickly.
Be excellent with each other. The world will be a much better place if we all try to practice that.
Let others enjoy their meal at peace. Asking someone to "hurry up" is not a favour and extremely rude.
If she wanted to ask for a favour, it should go something like this: "Sorry to interrupt, are you nearly finished? Could we have your seat if you are done?" And then patiently wait however long it takes for them to finish.
Be excellent with each other.
How does this defend the person that was being rude lol
How does this defend the person that was being rude lol
Asking for a favor is not being rude (assuming if it's been asked nicely). Especially if you're hogging a shared resource that's in limited supply (seating).
assuming if it's been asked nicely
It was not. That's the problem, and it's the reason for OP's reaction.
Let others enjoy their meal at peace. Asking someone to “hurry up” is not a favour and extremely rude.
Seating is a limited public resource shared by all. It's really not that unreasonable if the restaurant is being slammed and there's no tables available.
At the end of the day, if you know the restaurant is so busy and table seating is a huge problem why not get in and get out quickly, and share the resource with your fellow citizens, and make everyone's day a little better.
There's so much anger and hate going on right now, we really could try to be a little understanding with each other and tamping that hate down.
A restaurant is a private business and their seating is private, I don’t believe any restaurant would be happy with some random trying to hurry on their customers.
If a customer is taking excessive time it would be up to the staff to request them to move on.
A restaurant is a private business and their seating is private, I don’t believe any restaurant would be happy with some random trying to hurry on their customers.
If a customer is taking excessive time it would be up to the staff to request them to move on.
Totally depends on the venue, and how much control the restaurant staff has on the seating, versus if people come in and manage their own seating.
What I took from the original tweet was it's the latter, and not the former.
What you are describing is for the former.
Because people pay to eat their food and don’t want to get forced to move by people who think their lives are more important than others. If the meeting is so important, make a reservation.
Your failure to plan is not my problem. I don’t owe you any favors.
I don’t owe you any favors.
I don't know your life experiences I don't know why you have such a hard ass perspective on things.
All I'm advocating for is that in society, when we all need access to shared resources, especially when they are in limited supply, that we use those resources as quickly as we can, and then we move on, so the next person can use them.
That can't be such a difficult concept to understand, and it makes the world work so much better when there's less friction in it.
Hell, the Japanese even have a name for it (society cooperation, and how you act).
At the end of the day, if you know the restaurant is so busy and table seating is a huge problem...
... why not make plans with a backup restaurant in mind if you're meeting up with friends, just in case it's full already like it often is?
What if every other table was already occupied by people meeting friends. They're all entitled to be there. This lady only bullied OP and told him to hurry up because he was there alone. And what you're saying is that if you're alone, you're not really entitled to use shared resources beyond the absolute minimum necessary?
You're calling for mutual understanding while supporting the position of someone who demonstrably has none as she goes around ordering people to leave public spaces becauss they think they're more important. 'Mutual understanding' is revoked when it's clear the other party only wants to abuse it.
Balderdash. Poppycock, even.
Balderdash. Poppycock, even.
If you do Humanuty right, it becomes an "Excelsior!" existence.
yes. it is not everyone else's responsibility to reshape reality to accommodate me. if the restaurant I'm meeting a friend at is full when we both get there, and it looks like the wait will be too long for us, we go to a backup location. sometimes that happens. it's life. at no point do we assume a position of superiority and arrogance and start accosting already-seated patrons issuing orders to vacate to make room for us. that would make me and my friends pieces of shit.
Yes? I've done that tons of times when I get to a restaurant and it turns out to be crowded I'll call whoever I'm meeting and work out an alternative.
Yes? I’ve done that tons of times when I get to a restaurant and it turns out to be crowded I’ll call whoever I’m meeting and work out an alternative.
With less than 15 minutes ago, when they may already have been pulling into a parking garage?
I'm not saying it's impossible, but I'm just speaking towards how much time was left until the appointment time, hard to handle changes on the fly with so little time left. Not impossible, but hard.
Any restaurant I've been to that has a parking garage also had half a dozen other place within walking distance. Changing venue isn't really an issue unless they all are crowded in which case that's on us for planning poorly. Even if there's not another place within walking distance driving to another location is trivial. 15 minutes is more than enough time.
Or she could've learned some manners and not asked people who are eating to move
She was asking for a favor. Human beings do that sometimes. It's a shared limited public resource.
Well then she could be a daddy's girl who got everything she ever wanted and just doesn't understand the concept that the world doesn't revolve around her. Glad someone could show it to her.
Permanently Deleted
Well then she could be a daddy’s girl who got everything she ever wanted and just doesn’t understand the concept that the world doesn’t revolve around her. Glad someone could show it to her.
Such a strange immature response to that comment. You know nothing about that person, you don't know their maturity level, or what they've been given in life for free and what they needed to fight for.
All they did was ask if the person could finish up so that she could have the table, a shared resource that's in limited supply that all citizens would need to use at that restaurant.
You know sometimes you really don't have to be such hard asses to each other, truly. Even if it was a little over the top, we only have one side of what was literally said, and the tone of how it was said was not included at all.
Has anyone ever asked you to hurry up and finish so they can have your table?
Has anyone ever asked you to hurry up and finish so they can have your table?
I've been almost done with a meal and somebody askes me if I'll be vacating the table soon. I'll answer them yes, especially in a crowded venue.
I would consider it rude the hog the table, especially when there are no tables available and I'm done with my meal. My ego is not that fragile that I can't handle doing another human being a favor and getting out of there so they can have the table (as long as I'm done that is).
Its such a weird thing to argue over, and looking at the downvotes, it seems like people here on Lemmy are just really pissed off at people these days (or they are conflict bots). No good things will come from that level of anger.
I would consider it rude the hog the table
and I consider it similarly rude to just walk up and tell someone "hurry up".
why are you acting like the person at the table now is inherently inferior to the one that wants the table? OP is "hogging" the table as much as the girl would have when she sat with her friends. less, because she's there to meet someone socially and not just eat and leave. she'll be "hogging the table" for a lot longer. if someone new walks in right when her friend sits down with her and says "leave, this is my table now", you believe the correct course of action would be to immediately end the friend meetup and vacate immediately, as commanded? what if the new person is just 1 person? what if the new person represents a party of 5?
if your goal, as it seems, is to minimized use of the shared resources to maximize throughput use and thus make it available for the most people, then you would not support the idea of meeting friends at a restaurant at all.
why is the person sitting alone using the table for its intended purpose of eating a meal from the restaurant inherently inferior to a person wanting to claim a space to sit at and socialize for a while? why are the latter so superior that it justifies such rude behavior towards the prior?
I would consider it rude the hog the table
and I consider it similarly rude to just walk up and tell someone “hurry up”.
It's a shared resource in limited supply.
The rudeness would definitely be on the person hogging it.
why do you believe a single person using the table to eat food from the establishment is "hogging" it, whereas two people using the table for a social meeting aren't?
whereas two people using the table for a social meeting aren’t?
Why would you meet socially at a restaurant if you're not going to eat, especially one that's so busy that it's hard to find seating?
You would find somewhere else with more seating that doesn't serve food if your only goal was to socially interact with each other.
You are such a dipshit tool. The rudeness is on the person being rude, somehow such a simple concept is beyond you, because you're twisting it around so forcefully.
I get the impression that you're a sorry incel type that goes out of their way to white knight women online. I bet dollars to doughnuts that if OP said "a lovely young man" instead of "lady" you'd be raging against the idea of asking to have someone's seat. Foaming at the mouth that guys should leave people alone at tables they paid money to sit at.
Its such a weird thing to argue over, and looking at the downvotes, it seems like people here on Lemmy are just really pissed off at people these days (or they are conflict bots). No good things will come from that level of anger.
You've been arguing so much in the comments that you've forgotten OP's stated story and adopted your own fiction to defend. Like you said, it's a weird thing to argue over, because what you're talking about is not what anybody else is talking about. That's why you're getting down voted. But sure, convince yourself it's pissed off people or "conflict bots," whatever the hell that is. More fiction for your la-di-da world.
Where I come from if someone gracefully asked if I'd be leaving soon I'd have no problem accommodating them if it suited me fine. The operative word is suited, because I don't owe strangers anything. I can choose to be generous, or be in my right to reserve my generosity for someone who is more deserving. Doing so doesn't make me a bad person.
However, this is not what happened according to OP. The person suggested they hurry because they needed their table. That's so rude I'm completely blown away at your effort here in the comments to white wash it and scold others for not being doormats like you want to be. Have fun with that.
But sure, convince yourself it’s pissed off people or “conflict bots,”
If people are truly that hateful, then we are truly fucked.
Also, just go Google up "Bots Manipulate Public Opinion " and read.
As far as the rest of your diatribe, is intellectually dishonest, mischaracterizes my position, and I disagree with it.
I stand by what I've said.
Idc
Idc
I guess that's what it really just comes down to, if you care for others, or think only for yourself.
why would you care for people who exploit the baseline care given from others but themselves do not care for others? you're enabling and encouraging this breakdown of societal care by accommodating the loud-mouth arrogant bullies like the "hurry up" woman to the degree that you seemingly elevate them above the average person.
"being kind" does not mean "being a doormat", you seem to have conflated those things.
You're assuming a lot of facts that are not in evidence.
It's not shared. It's his until he's finished with his meal a meal he paid for and is at liberty to consume at whatever pace is most enjoyable to him.
It's shared. He doesn't bring his own table and chairs with him.
You don't bring your own seat on an airplane either. It comes with you purchasing a flight to a destination. Those certainly aren't shared.
You don’t bring your own seat on an airplane either. It comes with you purchasing a flight to a destination. Those certainly aren’t shared.
Those seats are assigned to you, not one that you obtain yourself.
I mentioned in another comment about how different restaurant venues have it where sometimes you have to get your own seating, and other times the restaurant gets the seating for you. The airline would be the same thing as the restaurant getting the seating for you.
I'm talking about you having to get your seat yourself, not assigned by the restaurant.
The seats are still owned by the restaurant and designated for people who have paid for meals. They don't typically welcome people who are not buying to come sit down. So it's not a "shared resource". You pay for a meal, you get a table until you're finished. If you want to share that table or not is up to you or the rules of the restaurant.
The seats are still owned by the restaurant and designated for people who have paid for meals. They don’t typically welcome people who are not buying to come sit down. So it’s not a “shared resource”. You pay for a meal, you get a table until you’re finished. If you want to share that table or not is up to you or the rules of the restaurant.
Two people can't sit in the same chair at the same time, so it's a shared resource.
And again, we're not talking about ownership, we're talking about usage, by ALL customers.
You're being intellectually dishonest, and it shows with the quality of your responses.
Two people can’t sit in the same chair at the same time.
That's exactly what makes it not shared. Only one person can use it at a time and they are entitled to it for the duration of their meal. Demanding that they rush through their meal so you can have it is hardly sharing.
Intellectually dishonest? How? Just because I don't agree with you doesn't make that true.
That’s exactly what makes it not shared.
No it doesn't, because they both have a need for it and one is finishing their need, and the other one is going to need. It's a transactional event thats happening, and if the person who's using it doesn't need it anymore they can move on and release the resource for the next person to use. And if they don't, then they're being rude and selfish.
Again, you're being intellectually dishonest. I say that because I know you understand the concept of one thing needed to be used by two people so they take turns using the thing and not hogging up the thing when they know another person needs the thing.
Demanding that they rush through their meal so you can have it is hardly sharing.
That was not being said (again being intellectually dishonest by misrepresenting what was being said). The person was inquiring when they would be done. No demand was being made.
Dude I bet people walk all over you
I bet you’re a dick
I wouldn't take that bet tbh
Quite the opposite actually.
It's okay to be nice to other people, truly. It makes the World a better place.
She was asking for a favor.
She was not. She was ordering OP to finish and leave, because she viewed herself as more valuable and more entitled to the shared resource than OP is, and therefore expected them to comply.
If she had merely asked for a favor instead of issuing an order, it could have been different.