An Insane Missouri Law Prevents Pregnant Women From Getting Divorced—Even If They’re Victims of Domestic Violence
An Insane Missouri Law Prevents Pregnant Women From Getting Divorced—Even If They’re Victims of Domestic Violence
State representative Ashley Aune is trying to fight it, but doesn’t have high hopes.
State representative Ashley Aune is trying to fight it, but doesn’t have high hopes.
Something you might have picked up on over the last several weeks/years/centuries is that there are a disturbing number of people in power who will go to great lengths to control women in America. Not convinced? Thinking of citing the fact that in some countries, women are stoned to death (as though that makes what happens here okay)? Then we’d like to make you aware of a law in Missouri that says pregnant women cannot get a divorce finalized if they’re pregnant—even if said pregnant people are victims of domestic violence.
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That's crazy and so unfair that men can't get divorced if their wives are pregnant, even if they're being domestically abused.
Oh wait. It isn't allowed to be seen or hated for looking at it from that direction. This is more gendered stereotyping, inferring that only women are being abused and want out of a bad relationship.
The main basis behind this law is that right now if you're married and give birth, the husband's name gets put in/assumed as the father. A woman who isn't married can put down unknown as a father and make it more difficult for the father to have rights for their child. Getting a divorce while pregnant is only really needed as a custody grab for a woman to try and keep her child away from the other parent by not putting them on the birth certificate.
There's not much else you can't do when married that you can do when you're single. You can still move out, you can still date, you can't be arrested and brought back to your spouse, you can still open bank accounts. All it really benefits is being used as a tool against sharing custody if a child.
This person is living on mars.
Or he’s just fucking stupid.
That’s crazy and so unfair that men can’t get divorced if their wives are pregnant, even if they’re being domestically abused.
This is a bizarre false equivalency. Yes, men get abused in relationships, no the numbers aren't equal, and no-where in this article does it say men can't suffer from this insane law.
This is something that was brought to me by folks in my community who shared that it was a huge problem,” Aune said. In a committee meeting, she shared the story of a woman affected by the existing law, saying: “Not only was she being physically and emotionally abused, but there was reproduction coercion used. When she found out she was pregnant and asked a lawyer if she could get a divorce, she was essentially told no. It was so demoralizing for her to hear that. She felt she had no options.”
She brought this forward specifically because a woman came to her in this situation. Men can go and protest this as well, but the story is about the woman who approached Aune. This bullshit where any time a woman complains about something unfair means some asshat has to jump in going "men too men too men too!"
NOBODY HAS SAID MEN DON'T SUFFER THIS SHIT. You're making a strawman.
Being married doesn't stop anyone from leaving a relationship, getting a job, moving anywhere they want, or opening a bank account. The only things it does in the short term of less than a year is prevent you from getting married to another. There isn't a separate set of abuse laws if you're married or single.
The only reason for needing a divorce on less than 9 months notice while pregnant is to try and remove custody for a child from a man. That's almost the only reason. To make it hard for a father to see their child. To make a father spend months and thousands of dollars just so they can see their own kid.
So go ahead and tell me WHY it is important to get a divorce in less than 9 months. What is a reason to need to do it?
The only reason for needing a divorce on less than 9 months notice while pregnant is to try and remove custody for a child from a man. That’s almost the only reason. To make it hard for a father to see their child. To make a father spend months and thousands of dollars just so they can see their own kid. So go ahead and tell me WHY it is important to get a divorce in less than 9 months. What is a reason to need to do it?
Ok.
“Not only was she being physically and emotionally abused, but there was reproduction coercion used. When she found out she was pregnant and asked a lawyer if she could get a divorce, she was essentially told no. It was so demoralizing for her to hear that. She felt she had no options.”
What if the woman was raped? What if he removed a condom during sex? What if the realization she'd be bringing a child into a relationship with a physically and emotionally abusive person made her realize she had to get out?
I don't know what point you think you're making but you look like an absolute monster here.
Being married isn't a hindrance or stopping point to any of the things you've mentioned.
That's insulting to Martians!
Yeah. Go ahead and explain how? Go ahead and say why people need to get divorced over a 9 month or less period. Explain how it hurts women more than men or vice versa.
Explain why getting divorced less than nine months earlier changes a single thing, you brainless twit.
Or, how about citing one example of this preventing a man from filing divorce. Just one will do.
I did explain what it changes. Getting divorced means the man loses his child until he can force a paternity test through the court system.
I think the points you are making are fair. Interesting that you are getting so many downvotes. 🤔
Lemmy/reddit swings hard on hive mind and is very black and white on topics. Anything to appear anti lgbtq or against minorities or women's life just gets an automatic "bad".
But yeah. Being married doesn't really do all that much. You don't need a husband's permission to do anything on your own anymore. The only reason a pregnant woman has to get a divorce while pregnant is to make it hard on the husband to have parental rights.
Maybe you could keep in mind that this state also had trigger laws banning abortion as soon as roe was overturned. The stakes are much fucking higher for people that can get pregnant.
Being married or divorced doesn't change that, though.
It doesn't? Who gets to make medical decisions if she can't while delivering the baby? Maybe Daddy is willing to risk losing a woman he is divorcing anyhow but wants the baby. Or maybe she is going to travel out of state for an abortion and he gets the idea that can be used against her in court.
I legit do not understand any woman who is fertile living in a state like that. Just knowing that a clump of cells has more rights than she does.
The husband doesn't have any rights during delivery and isn't allowed to be in the delivery room without the moms permission.
Beyond that, and in the event of emergencies where the spouse cannot make their own medical decisions, if they know they don't want their partner they've separated from able to make any on their behalf, you can choose at any time in your life who has medical power of attorney in those situations. It's free to do except for paying a notary (your bank will usually notarize for free) and the bit of paperwork takes like 10 minutes. Give who you made the medical poa a copy, and have your primary care physicians office place another with your medical records.
Consider if you will that pregnancy is a state of extreme vulnerability. The chances of being killed by a parter are astronomically higher for pregnant people... With the case of a lot of insurance, banking policies and economic infrastructure is designed to enable spouses to be treated as a single person any property you acquire is by default mutually owned meaning there's all manner of control which can be exerted by a spouse. You cannot file taxes separately and kinship treats your spouse as both your automatic inheritor and a legal authority with power of attorney in the event of you are incapacitated so you have someone that you cannot fully escape from because of legal ties. If you fear for your life from someone any contact is too much.
Considering too that it relatively common for men who were not previously abusive to suddenly change their personality, dropping their masks abruptly once someone is essentially trapped into having their baby then not giving someone the ability to extracate themselves from this situation is creating incentive to put on these deceptions. In the matter of childbearing the risk is borne only by one partner. It would stand to reason that if a non bearing partner causes an undue increase in the risks during the most vulnerable stages of pregnancy that they default on both their responsibilities and privileges as a parent.
Critically in a very short term divorce proceeding you do have to prove to a court cruelty or adultery which means obtaining reasonable proof these things exist. If your partner is proven cruel or a cheater then really are they worth defending their custody so vehemently? Most no fault divorce state requirements require a mutual separation period well beyond the gestation period of pregnancy (one year is the most common) . Even if you timed a separation so that you got pregnant right at the beginning of starting the clock that baby would be three months old before you would be eligible to divorce.