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Dealing with D&D5E Hate and Pathfinder 2E

I have been trying to get my partner into Pathfinder 2nd edition, and they do seem taken with it, however he's been having some issues lately with PF2E. Notably, online. The more he gets into PF2E, the more hate he sees for 5E. He's been playing 5E for years now and has invested a lot of time and love into the game, and to see it bad-mouthed online by a ton of people either because they think PF2E is better, or they don't like the system, or because of the company that manages it, has been disheartening to him as of late.

He told me today that he might just stop playing altogether after he's finished with his games because of the hate he's been seeing online, and I would hate for him to drop something he loves and has invested so much time into because of some online hate comments coming from another community in an act of internet tribalism.

I tried telling him that people disliked D&D4E when it came out for various reasons, yet people still play it today, and that when I started playing 5E, 4E had the reputation of being the game that everyone hates, but he's still focused on how people will bad-mouth 5E when they really have no need to. One example I can remember him seeing (and before I bring it up, I understand Reddit's culture, but the large amount of forum posts are going to be on Reddit, especially for a large and insular hobby like TTRPGs) was on a Reddit thread of someone asking what an analogous spell or ability would be to some spell in 5E and one person commented something to the effect of "well, you could try using this spell/ability, but you won't get the same effect as you would in 5E because 5E is just for auto-win stuff that doesn't have the player trying hard" (moderately paraphrasing, but I think my point is conveyed well here).

Personally, I like PF2E over 5E, but I'll still play both, mostly because most people will play 5E and not want to try and learn a new system, especially if it's one that has a reputation of having exponentially more rules than the one they already know and are comfortable with. Does anyone have any tips for how I can help my partner here?

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  • Everyone has their favorite system for tabletop gaming and some people like to define themselves by their hatred of other systems.

    I've played a lot of systems. Savage Worlds, Gurps, ADnD, 3.5, Pathfinder, 4e, Pathfinder 2E, DnD 5E, the list goes on and on.

    I do have preferences but I'm not going to hate on other systems.

    Too many people can't seem to enjoy something without hating on other people's enjoyment of things.

    • Exactly, my motto is let people enjoy things if they're not hurting anyone

      • Exactly

        It's like being in an ice cream parlor: there's so many different flavors and everyone has their favorites. If I'm having rocky road and you're having mint chocolate chip am I going to question why and get mad about it? Hell no, I'm just happy we both found ice cream we like. And hell I may grab some mint chocolate chip the next time I swing by.

        Variety is the spice of life after all.

        • That's such a great analogy, I just wish I felt more confident about sharing it with my partner.

          • I'd share it with him, it may be something he needs to hear

            Plus working on your self confidence is important. Share the things on your mind. The more confidence you have in life the happier you'll be.

            Trust me: I used to have really low self confidence and I was miserable. I was always tiptoeing around those around me afraid to assert myself. Afraid to be me. The more I've opened up, the confidence I've built, the happier I've become.

            • I'll share it with him tomorrow as it's pretty late for me and I have work early. I'm simply just not super confident sharing the analogy with him will stop him from quitting the hobby altogether or at least stop him from playing Pathfinder

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