First thing that I realized upon seeing where this image was from and when was that this woman would likely have been a victim of the Italian fascist genocide of gypsies. Things really worsened for them under Mussolini when he got into power only 3 years later.
Unfortunately Roma and other Travellers (the g word for them is considered a slur unless being reclaimed by one of their own) were (and still are) persecuted across Europe with little to no exception, so she likely faced violence and hate throughout her life, wherever she was (but I agree, it's poignant to think about).
The fact that she was documented at all, especially by someone outside of their community, is incredible in its own right.
I would substitute Romani, for the g word but for it being the original title. I do find they feature more in 18-19th century work as a romantic/bohemian ideal, but it tapers off into eh 20th century when nationalism rises.
I don't see an issue with the title, because as you say, it's the name of the piece, and also part of history.
Someone using the word today is a different story.
I'll be upfront in saying that I feel like I am being spoken over a little here and I'm not really asking for discussion on that either.
I get the impression we are both gorgers and whilst I believe that it is important to check each other's privilege, I have a hell of a lot more trust for my GRT friends and community members to take the lead on that.
And I'll be upfront and say that I think you're being defensive and could have easily just taken the comment on the chin, learnt from it for the future and moved on. That's what privilege checks are about. You don't know everything, and it's not only ok to admit that, it's preferable.
Instead you're doubling down and pulling the "I have an x friend" trope to try and get away with using a slur you admit doesn't belong to you (and you're right, it doesn't belong to me either, but only one of us is insisting on using a racist term that isn't ours).
As a group, they have taken a stand, all you have to do is look it up and listen, and realise that even if your friend says it's ok to use with them, that doesn't make it ok for you to freely use in general: