Becoming a teenager is realising that your parents aren't perfect. Becoming an adult is forgiving them for it.

I don't forgive my mother when she can't even acknowledge her abuse.

But, I've at least started accepting that there are positive qualities in myself that I have her to thank for. My love of reading and learning was encouraged my her, as she's a voracious reader and a journalist by trade. She supported my love of music by paying for piano lessons when I was young. For a boomer in a red state, she leans quite far left and abhors racism and inequality in general, so I feel like I was raised with the right set of morals.

She's not an evil devil woman; she does have good qualities. And I can empathize with the struggles she's been though. But I don't know if that understanding and acceptance will ever equate to forgiveness.