how's your week going, Beehaw
how's your week going, Beehaw
i got sick again so the financial update and also this thread are late. i'll get the financial update up at a later point, or i might just combine it with january since there's not that much to report as far as i can tell
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Fun.
As a longtime mental health connoisseur, I must say that hypomania really pairs quite well with OCD. 9 out of 10 psychiatrists agree that it's quite the experience. The odd one out is just being contrarian for the sake of it.
Christ, I need a fucking break from my mind.
That and the country I live in is falling apart, although none of this is really new. The brain fucking with me and the country falling apart. Both have been going on for decades.
It's all a giant farce, honestly, where the only real option at this point is to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
You have a great way with words!
Lol, I appreciate that!
Even in my less comfortable moments, I try to keep things just a tiny bit entertaining. Even if only for my own wellbeing (otherwise I'd probably lose what's left of my mind, honestly).
Years ago, i got off anti depression meds within two months (only later heard that it's better to taper down over a year). One of the symptoms i got was hypomania; it was awesome! For a week i had energy like never before and after a day of cleaning i caught myself looking around and trying to find something left to clean.
Kicking those meds was a nightmare, but honestly, that week of hypomania was the greatest i ever felt. Mentally i was fine, nothing weird, but just this boundless energy. While usually, since i have a genetic bodily disorder, i often feel tired and if i do too much, i can't do much for a week after.
I have some significant fatigue issues as well, though I'm still trying to find the cause (after six years of blood tests and doctors' appointments, still nothing, though I'll probably be seeing other specialists at some point to make sure).
It'a both "good" because I'm apparently healthy, but also very frustrating because I have no concrete answers as to why I can't leave my house more than once a week without crashing right into the ground. It's actually closer to somewhere around twice a month.
Not like I had too much energy before, but the last six years have been... exhausting. Having to plan out just how and when I can do something like watch a movie (at home because theaters are waaaaay too much) without crashing is tiresome on its own.
As for the hypomania, you got the "fun" one! Lol, not that it's good, but different people have different experiences. Some don't often get a euphoric high, but rather just excessive mind-racing, which can exacerbate some issues (particularly anxiety disorders and sensory overload). That's generally what happens with me.
Really depends on the person. Some get the euphoria, some get just pure irritation/anxiety due to excessive mental energy. Some even get both.
Lol, if I'm being honest, trying to make sense of it is usually pointless. Just have to deal with it if/when it rears its strange little head.
I hope they'll figure out what it is. Often, like yours, it can be a very long journey, like with a virus for instance.
What i learned is to divide chores into small pieces. And when i have a busy day, i try to plan a number of days of being able to take it easy, physically.
And if people don't get it, the spoon theory can be helpful to explain to others.
Yes, i was not trying to say that hypomania is fun for everyone, but thankfully for me, it was a pleasant surprise, though it took a bit of digging to find out what was happening and where it came from.
Oh, yeah. I've generally figured out how to pace myself. Occasionally might forget a bit and overextend, but it's mostly "okay".
Actually came across spoon theory years ago, before all this, and found it useful to explain other things (mainly sensory overload).
Oh, and don't worry! I didn't think you were saying that at all. Lol, like I said, you got the "fun" one.
I just sometimes like to get that euphoria thing out of the way because it's something that even people with bipolar might not realize.
For a long time I was very "iffy" about my diagnosis because "how can I be hypomanic if I'm not feeling happy" was an all too common question that made me doubt things until my therapist really shone a light on the whole sitch.
Anyway, I appreciate the good words and advice! I hope you've found medication now that works for you, and while I know it's not within your control, I hope you manage to enjoy the bits of energy your body is capable of mustering up.
For a long time I was very "iffy" about my diagnosis because "how can I be hypomanic if I'm not feeling happy" was an all too common question
Maybe, as a crooked comparison, it's a bit like drinking way too much coffee; you feel energetic, but maybe also jittery, and happiness doesn't really have anything to do with it.
As for antidepressants; after decades of two kinds of severe depressions, i learned to meditate and haven't been depressed in over a decade. It changed the way i view the world in a fundamental way and i learned to not focus on the depressed feelings (focusing on them would make it more intense). So, i don't use any medication for it anymore.
Thanks for your kind words and have a great day