Death Anxiety

I think animals have a better grasp on death than we do.

I bought my first dog at 5 years old. He came with neuropathy in his hind legs that slowly progressed. I'd have to counterbalance him when he pooed so he wouldn't sink down into it. He had to wear shoes so he wouldn't wear his nails down to bleeding stumps. He was prescribed meds, but they only helped him with any pain.

One November it snowed early, and on our walk he went down twice. The second time I almost wasn't able to get him up. I returned home, sobbing, and I told him that I didn't know what to do. That if he stopped eating, I'd know it was time. (He was always a big eater.)

I brought him his breakfast, and he just looked at me like, "we had a deal," and refused to eat.

I had to pick him up out of the car, and we petted him until he passed. I still feel guilty as if I should have been able to do more. But I'll never forget the look in his eyes. He knew it was time, and he accepted it. His only concern was trying to help me be okay.

Intelligence might be largely a human thing. But we have a lot to learn about wisdom.