I'm hoping I'll poop tonight so I don't have to poop on the plane tomorrow.

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solved pooping for myself using an enema twenty years ago. not a single trouble, I poop whenever I want, and I do it in 40 seconds maximum. sprinkle ~70ml of water, blow out, rinse the butt, done.
- The bidet is useful for getting things started.
  
  yes. the bidet when you poop at home, and an enema when you are not at home.

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