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Baubles and Scrooge Discussion from December 25th to December 31st, 2023 - The War on Christmas: Counteroffensive - COTW: Finland

Image: one of our POW camps filled with captured soldiers of the Christmas regime.

Season's greetings, fellow godless communists. I'm here to disseminate orders from our Supreme Communist Dictator as we once again find ourselves fighting against the very concept of Christmas. As a reminder, by the end of our five-year plan, we plan to be in a position to attack and dethrone God, but this intermediate step is required to fulfil this directive. Our forces in the field have made significant, if gradual, progress since you received your mission update last year. It has been difficult, but we have developed a series of defensive lines to prepare for a counteroffensive out of Lapland that will try and reach the Gulf of Bothnia in an attempt to cut the land bridge that we have set up across Scandinavia.

Currently, we foresee a few major threats. General Santa Clauswitz has been developing many tools in his workshop, including artillery-launched snowballs, barbed tinsel, and reinforced gingerbread armor plating for his tanks and infantry carriers. President Frostyy has made the following public statement: "The socialists who wish to destroy us have no idea what their defenses are about to face. Democracy will always defeat autocracy. Christmas will always triumph over X-mas. The leaders of the axis facing us are all on the naughty list and will be tried for crimes against festivity once this war is over."

Delusional as this may be, the next couple days will be the most dangerous as they stage their counteroffensive, and we need everybody to pitch in and get into defensive positions. We expect this to be the last major push that they will make before collapse. Please report any Christmas trees, mistletoe, or general symbology of the Christmas regime to your superiors.

Over and out.


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947 comments
  • I've been busy recently, but I have caught up on the latest news from Ukraine in the past few days and it's funny how even the western media are now accepting that Ukraine might be taking a huge L soon. So much cope and dooming from the Ukrainian side, while Russian media is finally really confident and free from doomers for the first time. I remember reading a substack article by Big Serge (what a shit name for a politics guy) a year ago titled "Gradually, and then suddenly". It feels very fitting to the current situation, as we're firmly in the transition phase from gradually to suddenly right now. Russians are now moving in every sector of the front except Kherson, which is destined to be frozen until Russia reaches the Dnieper on another sector. I keep being wrong in every prediction, but I really feel like this Russian strategy of slowly chipping away at multiple sectors is bound to generate a Ukrainian collapse in at least one sector soon. 2023 wasn't exactly an eventful year for us Ukraine War war watchers, with the map looking static as fuck everywhere except Bakhmut. 2024 looks like a more mobile year imo, we'll definitely see some significant movement somewhere this year.

947 comments