What do I even have left to live for?
What do I even have left to live for?
I've been unemployed for almost 6 months now. I wasn't even paid enough while I was working, but now, I've depleted all my savings, my credit card balance is going up, I'm not even sure how much longer I can keep collecting unemployment, I still have absolutely zero job prospects, I'm having a hard time affording anything that gives me genuine enjoyment.
Beyond money, I don't have a good social life. I really only have acquaintances who would all rather be with other people. Me thinking about finding love feels like me thinking about being a billionaire, basically just a fantasy so far from the conditions of my life, it's absurd.
If I finally get a job, what then? I still have to scrounge to financially recover? I'm still alone? What do I even have to live for?
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Buckminster Fuller was at the end of his existential rope, was contemplating suicide after his daughter died from complications that he blamed on his own poverty and inability to provide. He lost his job, and was going to drown himself.But then he had an epiphany and decided to kick ass instead.
"From now on you need never await temporal attestation to your thought. You think the truth. You do not have the right to eliminate yourself. You do not belong to you. You belong to the Universe. Your significance will remain forever obscure to you, but you may assume that you are fulfilling your role if you apply yourself to converting your experiences to the highest advantage of others.[21]"
Went on to invent tons of cool shit, geodesic domes, just led an amazing life. I too suffer from chronic depression but I think about Bucky a lot
I'm very genuinely glad it's clearly helpful to you and others, but I personally find these kind of narratives to be negative, bordering on harmful.
Nobody is ever suffering heavily, and then just 'decide to kick ass', like it's just a decision you take. No doubt his recovery from anxiety and depression was a lot more complicated, involved a lot of other people, and was a far longer road, than that. Cool life story and goal, nonetheless.
Having had a friend recently commit suicide I realized my ability to actually influence people and affect change is limited. There was literally nothing anyone could do, he wanted to die and he killed himself. I think about Bucky, he wanted to die, but he decided he help people instead. This is the only point of my comment. I can't save anyone, I can't fix this, all I can do is point out that there is another way.
I totally feel it, I too have had a friend commit suicide and it made me confront a lot of things. It's cool you're sharing these stories and how they inspire you - just saying I find my own interpretation a bit different, that's all.
yeah that shit is toxic as fuck. what do these dorks think happens when someone tries the bullshit and fails? survivorship bias is a helluva drug
I'm sorry that my attempting to help someone is toxic as fuck. It really hurts me to hear this. I guess I'll log of for a while.
it's noble but frequently misguided. Don't uncritically valorize "attempting to help". redditors posting the hotline aren't actually helping, the hotline itself is often directly harmful to people in crisis, and something like pouring water on a grease fire is going to make it worse 100% of the time.
"inspirational" willpower from nothing stories aren't reproducible and are horrible to hear as someone who's been horribly depressed for 2/3 of their shit life and has no useful agency or power.
I think it's unfair to respond like this. I'm not a fan of the story either, personally, but it's clearly a story that some people really do derive value from, even if you and I don't.
it's unfair to think anyone can just hoist themselves to famous scientist Buckminster Fuller's drive and achievements and it blows to have that lib shit coming from comrades
Except they didn't say 'anyone can just hoist themselves', they just said it's something they think about a lot. They were empathising and sharing a story they found helpful, that was all.
Your significance will remain forever obscure to you, but you may assume that you are fulfilling your role if you apply yourself to converting your experiences to the highest advantage of others.
I needed this too, thank you ❤️
this is just Christian moral ethics about suicide for atheists
You do not belong to you. You belong to the Universe. Your significance will remain forever obscure to you,
I'm sorry but
how bout fuck off telling me I do not belong to me?