How to get rid of the Indian curse?

!venting@lemmy.ml

On a personal level? Leaving really is the best option. Unless you have a good support network there, you’ll never really be able to get out of the cycle. I’m not Indian but I moved from my similar 3rd world country to a 1st world country. It was hard no doubt, and will probably be a little harder for you depending on the country and how many of your countrymen are trying to get in (i.e. Indians in the US wait a decade or more to get permanent residency). You can also try the education route if you can afford it. Another option as well is moving to maybe another country that doesn’t have to be a top 1st world destination. You can maybe check out southeast asia and see what opportunities are there.

Things change slowly, then all at once. We are currently facing the same problems that Europe, the US, Japan and China faced and overcame.

Also, have you considered moving to a different part of India? Not all regions face the same issues. The northeast is a lot less creepy and a lot more civic-minded. The west is more industrialised and 'developed'. The south has better educational systems, and so on.

Just a thought, but several of your anecdotes could describe 19th-century Europe, England in particular. Obviously India today is far more advanced than Victorian England, but still, is it possible that these are just normal growing pains for a country?

Man, that went a different way than I thought it would. I read the title and was expecting some Scooby-Doo-type shit.

As for your issue, I think you have two choices:

1. Emigrate
2. Become an activist/politician and work on issues #3 and #8. Fix those, and the rest will follow.

Things change slowly then all at once.

Which is to say, the older generations are very set in their ways, but the new generations can be completely different.

You say you can write a book, maybe you should. Detail all the things you see and don't like. Give me a voice to the people who think like you.

My Indian friends tell me that Indian people are the most racist people in the world, to other Indians. That's the biggest problem and why they left. You're clearly a part of that. A traditional caste system and the usual socioeconomical issues of a large population obviously won't help. These seem to be the cores of your issues. It's not your fault, but you shouldn't participate in that bullshit by saying such things and having such a defeated mindset.

You need to travel. You need to leave.

After you travel, you can self-assess under a more experienced and open perspective. You will likely not want to return, but you will not be hitting the world so jaded and focused on competitive success within society. You will relax, you will get options, you will settle into a comfortable life and in a few years you will complain about the mediocrity of being middle-class instead.

"But I can't travel."

Yes you can. You have plenty of skillsets that will earn you more money per hour elsewhere. All the while building up friendships, networks, and experiences. Your only issue is visas which you co-ordinate as you go. For now, much of the western world is very open to Asian immigrants and you'd be foolish to not jump on it while it's still an option. Target the richer nations with low unemployment rates and you'll find secure work.

Your main issue will be later when domestic family want part of what you've gained. That's up to you. I have a friend that I found out was giving more than half his income back home because $60K AUD seems huge to people not paying $550 a week in rent. And I've also got a friend that, after her father died, threw her middle fingers to family and India vowing to never return.

Your situation is harder to endure than just leaving. But the amount of blame and hate you put on your circumstances makes me wonder if you can even realise that.

But as a white guy with 13 friends from Nepal, India, and Bangladesh, I'd like to think my advice isn't entirely disregardable, as it's indirectly from them.

Edit: Ah shit, I forgot that apart from visas your only other issue will be racism. It really depends on the industry and nation, but obviously there will be those anti-immigration even though they don't realise immigration Is saving their fucking livelihood. Plus, if you talk about India and Indians the way you did In your post, you'll fit right in with them lol—thats not a good thing long-term, but I guess an odd uptick (???)

Point is, whoever you are, you were born and will die. Go find a place in the world that you're not miserable in. That's your current meaning in life.

Go back in time a prevent the British Empire

Really appreciate your post! I had an amazing date with an Indian woman here in Germany, but the guys just seem to not understand the concept of keeping their dicks in their pants.

But you know, it's a cultural thing and you are a leader in that sense. Hope you realize that. Every time you act it is like a ripple.

I know I can't actually help you, but I have to say, I'm excited for you. You sound like you have carefully thought through your ideas, and concluded "I don't personally have a future in India". You are in a tough spot financially, but I can tell you have the fire inside you. You're going to find a better country to live in, and change your circumstances, like so many Indian ex-pats before you! You can do it.

I love India and the people from India. I worked in IT for Ford for over 30 years and had a lot of Indian coworkers and traveled to India a few times for work. Like others have said, all of them came over through technology jobs. Unfortunately many companies in the US play the green card game to keep your wages low. Finding a company that will help get your card is very tough. If you can handle the learning for controls engineering, a 2 year degree will get you a good paying job in a lot of the western world helping companies with their automation of production lines. One of my friends who had all the needed skills wanted to come to the US so much but his pronunciation of words was really bad and it was very hard to understand him so he could never get past an initial interview.
But I agree about the current state of India but nationalist leaders are gaining more power and Modi is an example of that. His playing the Hindu and nationalist card over and over again is an example of that. When I'd walk around it was always amazing to see stone and bronze workers doing work that's been done for hundreds of years along side shops with ISO certification making advanced tooling and micro parts. India is where the Bronze age meets the digital age. I've never seen that anywhere else. China is probably the closest but I didn't see as much technical incongruity on one street like I would in India.
As a worker and many agreed with this view, Indians and many Asians are great at following orders which is what they grew up with, but thinking out of the box was usually a challenge. I believe the freedoms of the west allow people more ability to see things differently and we feel like our view/idea/opinion has value and should be heard because of the differences in the individual. Because of that we're more willing to contemplate other methods in our own heads about possibilities instead of just doing what rote learning taught and not go against the grain with teachers, bosses, etc. Like you're finding, seeing what others choose not to see is a challenge. The young are the future and need to stand up for the view of the world they want. It has to start at the local level with enough force to be a regional power. Unfortunately the nationalist have a lot of thugs to do their work and wrack havoc on people trying to bring about change that would challenge those in power and bring more power to the individuals.

I know I'll get downvoted, but I want to say this is just the experience of me and my families over generations: moved from India to England. My grandfather and his relations fought under the British Raj, and he worked for the British government in a small job even after the partition, so after a while my grandparents came over to London. My mother did nursing training in India, but at a St. Mary's boarding school so she was taught by mostly British standards and that made the transition to move to London much easier as well (I was born and raised here).

Your post essentially highlights the elephant in the room, as to why a lot of people immigrate to countries like the US, Canada, or the UK: despite our problems, many people find these countries to be better in terms of, well, many things. You can find pockets of communities here to prevent you feeling too homesick as well, such as Southall which many (including myself) call "little India".

Maybe look at options for if you can aim towards a field of employment that would provide you with the skills required to get a VISA to a place with (in your personal view) a better quality of life. If you have the time and dedication, programming and various IT fields have often been successful with this however I can imagine there being a lot of competition. Perhaps someone else could recommend a better field.

A lot of these problems used to be widespread in the West, too. Littering was still ubiquitous into the 70's, at the edge of living memory you have all kinds of ethnic rent seeking and corruption, and sanitation was a huge problem in the 19th century. Stick with democracy and give it a a lifetime or two (change is hard, I'm sorry).

Even when Indians leave India, they try to create a mini-India abroad and not go out of their cultural comfort zone.

That's not my experience in Canada. All immigrant communities tend to stick together, just for the familiarity, but I'd say Indians are are more comfortable interacting with other groups than average. It's probably because India itself is so diverse.

These are not really Indian issues but poor people issues. Social mobility is a tough thing. If you're born poor, you stay poor in most places. If your born rich you can stay rich or become poor. If you're middle class you'll probably end up poor unless you are relatively lucky with the way inflation and capitalism works.

If you want to "escape India" for better chances, just get to Dubai and start over. You'll earn more and can start planning for later.

Well... You've been dealt a bad hand and I'm not sure how to help you. You can do the IT career path via educating yourself but that's not easy. It's hard to cut yourself above the rest although it's possible.

First thing you could do though is to accept things for how they are. People are going to throw trash until someone with authority will tell them it's wrong and then you'll need a generation for the change to happen.

You'll not be able to fix India by yourself and I'm not sure if anyone can but over time things will slowly get better. Emigrating is an option, although hard and going into politics can work but that's even harder.

But honestly, I feel like this is all things you already know. These are my completely useless two cents.

i don't know how well you can move to a more developed country, but maybe you could move to a different underdeveloped country and try your skills there?

I unfortunately can't help you with what I think you should do: emigrate to another country, preferably one of the more socialist European ones. I don't know what is required to emigrate, it probably differs per country. But I'm pretty sure it should be possible to find out by going online and looking around.

I wish you lots of good luck and all the best. I hope you can get a better life. Just remember, people are shitty everywhere, they're just more or less shitty.

I think the ideal solution is to leave. But you don’t have to fight to get to super competitive places. There are a lot of other countries out there with easier immigration policies, including developed western countries. Instead of obvious places like the US, UK, etc - have you considered less visited but developed countries like Argentina, Uruguay, Hungary, Latvia, whatever? These are likely a lot easier to immigrate to.

Your country isn't much different than mine, I hope you get OK, bro. Life will always change.

Hi, I understand your frustrations because I have same frustrations as you. I have an M.Tech from IITM and still, I cannot seem find a job that I like. One that unleashes my creative potential. For now, I am considering some potential options, maybe they give you some idea of your own. One that I am considering is horticulture. However, the biggest drawback of this is that land can be expensive. Another option I have been considering is vocational courses like hotel management, or chef or something of similar vein like carpentry, electrician, etc. These are pretty stable and good jobs. Personally, I was considering baking, just because I find it fascinating. Another option that I am considering is immigrating to another country. I am considering Canada, which has a 5 year Permanent residency program. It costs like 230k rupees to apply for that visa.

I hope some of this helps you. If you need any help, you can DM me too. I will try as much as I can.