That is actually a good question. Smoothly ignoring age or being polite?

Usted would also create a boundary that does not imply intimate relations

Is that why they use tú for God?

The real answer.

Then for OP’s question, it depends on whether she gets off on knowing she’s older, or wants to feel younger.

It appears to be the question of using a language's formal or informal way of addressing the second person.

Formal forms are generally used for those senior in age, rank, social standing etc - whereas the informal is used for colleagues, friends, family etc.

The question revolves around whether to use the formal conjugations based on the elder nature of the date, or the informal verb endings based on the more intimate nature of being a date.

In short, not a joke, but a headspinning social minefield for non-native speakers.

At least I think that's the jist of it, always happy for a correction.

TIL how to embed an image on Lemmy. That is why I have 2 deleted comments.

Spanish has two terms for the word you: tu and usted. Tu is considered less formal, and usted is considered more formal. The specific Hispanic subculture dictates when and in which relationships to use one or the other. But in general, we use usted when speaking to older people to show respect. However, it establishes a sort of barrier or detachment between the two individuals because of the formality. Tu is more personable/casual and implies that the individuals are more socially close. If you want to clearly establish that you are having a respectful formal relationship with someone, use usted. If you want to clearly establish a casual social bond with someone, use tu. The post is then pointing out the dilemma of whether to show respect for their age by using usted or establish a romantic and intimate connection using tu.

Imagine if in English, we used thou to show respect and you to imply a laid back relationship. You'd probably use thou with grandparents, bosses, strangers in formal gatherings, etc., while using you with friends, siblings, romantic partners, etc. The dilemma would then be whether to use thou because she's an older lady or you because you want to not have any barriers preventing intimacy.

There are two types of "you" in Spanish. Usted is for formal situations and people older than you. Tu is informal and people younger than you. The joke is that OOP doesn't know which "you" to use because dating is an informal situation but she's older than him.

Misread this as petaQ and I'm living for the image of a Klingon swearing at somebody because they don't understand a "human" joke 😂

You might get laughed at depending on the region you're in.

For me as a spanish as a second language speaker I use tu for my close friends and people younger than me or to a cashier. I use usted for people I don't know that well or if they are older than me or security guards/cops.