My fellow human, you're either depressed, and you should seek help, it will do you great good, or you should start looking into some personal growth wisdom.
Both aren't easy paths, but they're well worth it.
Depression isn't equal to all the things you compared it to, and saying that none of us can change no matter how hard we try, maybe shows that you're the first obstacle to it.
Well if you guys have been friends for years, then hopefully that's not something that can break over night. It can be worth trying to salvaging that. He could just be saying that in a moment where he felt emotional, then sobered up a few days feeling regretful and cruel. It's worth reaching out to see if he'd like to keep talking. Fights between friends is normal, and patching it up is even more important. Some people can't even maintain friends for years like you did, that's an important skill on its own. And yeah, all I can do is relate to the last stuff cuz I'm also struggling feeling that way. I have friends, but am in a complicated situation where I can't be with the girl I'm in love with, and she doesn't feel the same way, but I'm with her 8 hours pretty much every day so it's pretty painful. I also lost a promotion to a guy I really hate and have to work under him now, so I need to figure out how to navigate that as well this week. Swallowing your ego and going about things is really hard, ya know. I think we're both going through that.