It's interesting how people try to redefine the word joke. If there's nothing funny about it, it's not a joke. So maybe they mean that they were trolling just for fun, which is not the same thing.
The second point is that if they say something horrible and then you call them an asshole and then they complain that you've gotten too sensitive, which is a very common chain of events, it actually shows that they've gotten too sensitive. If you're not supposed to care about what they said, why should they care about what you said? ... But of course actually they don't care about what you said, and they're just grandstanding. But even if we accept their internal logic just for the sake of argument, it still makes them giant assholes.
If there’s nothing funny about it, it’s not a joke
This doesn't excuse these people, but this is a bad way to define a joke. Funny is a subjective thing, a matter of taste, there is no objective "funny" to measure against to see if they qualify.
If I say some fucked up shit as a joke, it's only because I failed to see how it was fucked up. Or I'm being sarcastic/facetious. If the former, and it's brought to my attention, I'll apologize and not repeat it. If the latter... 🤷🏻♂️
However, I once repeated a joke told to me by my transfem sister that she learned in her trans support group and was called a transphobe on Reddit. Sometimes shit doesn't matter, they just wanna be angry.
Lots of jokes can be understood in different ways. On the internet nobody can tell if you are sincere, while a trans person at a trans support group definitely is.
If I repeat an alt right talking point to my buddy, he knows I'm being sarcastic and I'm making fun of them. But you can't tell if I'm alt right or not.
Kinda sad you actually have to explain this.
Yeah the sort of jokes from trans support groups often wind into the “this is probably not the sort of joke I’m comfortable hearing a random cis person tell”. Lots of jokes about dark aspects of our lives
This is pretty much my take on jokes using darker material. I'm a very sarcastic and facetious guy, so I say jokes in ways that imply I don't believe what I'm saying, which makes the joke a joke.
Of course, for every person like me there're ten who say them fully seriously
Conservatives don't know how comedy works. I call it the Yo Mama hypothesis.
When you were a kid, and other kids lied about your mom, you got mad, right? And eventually they'd say - relax, it's a joke, stop crying. And if you're reading this then you probably grew to understand the difference between saying something and meaning it.
I don't think every kid got there.
I think a lot of kids, maybe a whole quarter of humanity, only learned that jokes are insults you have to shut up and take. They're cruelty you're not allowed to get mad about. How would those kids act differently? They'd stop crying, mostly, when people told rude lies about their mothers. They'd snap back at other kids, telling rude lies about their mothers. From those events you'd figure, great! They get it. It's not real. Except... they only look right from the outside. On the inside, they're gathering a list of excuses for vicious behavior.
These people know what jokes look like. They're clever enough to build a punchline. They kinda get how you tell jokes. But they have no idea why you tell jokes.
People defending Dave Chappelle insisted "he's a comedian!" like that absolved all his opinions. I've walked those people through how jokes require setup that reflects sincere beliefs. (Like how "eat the rich" is a joke about classism and cannibalism, but it's only joking about the cannibalism.) I've cited the many times Dave repeated certain claims far from any stage. But these folks never acknowledge that being a TERF is not part of the act. That's not how it works, in their worldview.
Being a comedian means he gets to say things you're Not Supposed To Say, even if they're things you absofuckinglutely believe. That's all they thought Jon Stewart was doing. That's why they thought Stephen Colbert was on their side.
The same people routinely parroted "you can joke about anything," which is equally revealing. They'd heard it because they insisted "you can't joke about [blank]!" even for the most benign, supportive, and inoffensive gags. And also for dead-baby jokes and antitheism. Point is: these types don't care about severity, because they don't care about meaning. They believe in blasphemy. They think condemnation, criticism, or even just speaking less-than-reverently about a subject is profaning something sacred, and chances are good they'll hit kids for doing it.
We told them every subject is fair game for fair jokes. They'd stop yelling, mostly. And from that event we'd figure, great, they get it. But on the inside, they still believe the issue is what a joke is about. They still think joking is an attack under agreed-upon rules of engagement. So of course funny black man shit on trans people. They don't like trans people. It's hardly a secret. What's our beef, saying he's not allowed to spout jokes full of prejudice and hatred? They're jokes. That's what they're for.
I don't mind, rather, I enjoy dark humor, just not when it's thinly veiled actual beliefs. It's more supposed to be a way to show the absurdity of legitimate problems or be a easier way to broach tough topics.
Yeah, if it's truly just an attempt to not admit your bigoted beliefs, then it's a fair callout. But there are also cases where the insulting bigoted comment joke is supposed to make fun of the people who actually hold those beliefs, and those are fair game.
I want to cherry pick all the volunteering misogynist pricks from the comments section, let them go in a forest and shoot them for sport. With nerf guns, but still.
You’ll be glad to know I just spent a good five minutes on her twitter account and she’s not the man hating person you expected this woman you know nothing of to be. You might still exercise caution though, as she might be... a single childless cat lady 😱