Also annoying though are people who think they "get it", stop listening and be interruptive after a few words, and totally miss the crucial part that comes later.
Other neurodivergent people are hard to hang out with, except for sharing our grievances in memes :-)
My wife has ADHD as well as myself. How often I'm trying to make a point by starting off on points that lead to that point, and she makes the point for me, conducts a counter argument, and wastes 30 seconds of me back pedaling to say that's not at all what I'm trying to get at.
Yes, this is a serious problem with some people. Far worse than OP's issue.
There is a whole house of people I know like that. I visited for Labor Day, and people were constantly talking over each other. They wonder why I don't visit too often anymore.
This on really irks me as two people in my family are this way… but always wrong. It’s like having a conversation with an autocomplete engine that’s always wrong. If you just let me finish my sentence, this would go way faster.
Im more on the
"I need you to repeat that second half because something you said in the first half sent me down an entirely different line of thinking and i stopped listening to you and only pretended to"
Side of things
Sounds very similar to my, "I have something relevant and important to say and you're moving past the past where it's relevant!" And it's always with someone who acts like I'm always interrupting when actually they are constantly interrupting.
I'm on both 😁👍
My therapist helped this by saying that there are no points. forgetting what you are saying in order to let others in is part of the deal.
it happens literally multiple billions a times a day. be part of team "it is ok not to make my point".
it is a fun team to join.
That's all well and good until it's my turn to speak and I make an equally bad impression by having nothing to say.
Omg, I hate this feeling.
If I’m drunk I just can’t handle it, and end up attempting to truncate what they are saying with a graceful and quick demonstration of my understanding to move things along. Mixed results ensue.
My partner does this all the time. Unfortunately, they’re often completely wrong about what I was trying to say. Suddenly we’re having two completely different conversations simultaneously.
hopefully, also *hilarious *results.
I have ADHD, I work in tech.
I'm pretty sure I've of my more troublesome clients is both extremely rude and also needs Ritalin.
Every time I say anything, they interrupt me with a reply, except, 90% of the time, they've didn't actually understand what I was trying to say. The assumption they make about what I am saying is very consistently incorrect.
It's really quite aggravating.
Is that an ADHD thing?
It's the impulse control and anxiety & frustration that builds from not giving in to the impulse that's the challenge. That's if you're aware of the issue that if you do give in to the impulse you will likely come off as a dismissive asshole, and probabaly even condescending.
Yeah I'm like this sometimes but I don't have ADHD. Just impatient lol
Actually I see a ton of posts lately mostly on Instagram where it says "such and such thing" is so ADHD and it seems like just some normal stuff. Like everything is adhd now
Some/most of the way the ADHD presents itself is that they are things that everyone does, but ADHDers do it much more often to the point it is a problem or deemed socially unacceptable. So yes, ADHD touches a lot of things that neurotypical people do which is why it is such an insidious disability, it hides in plain sight and is dismissed by others as the individual displaying those traits just doesn’t have the mental fortitude and they need to practice better control, which leads to the ADHDer not seeking therapy/meds for their condition as they are made to feel that their condition is a personal failing and not an actual disability due to faulty wiring in their brain. This is why many people with ADHD have a negative self image and are typically treated for depression due to that negative self image. If the person with ADHD gets support, through their community, family, school, job, meds, therapist and etc then that negative self image can be dismantled and the real issue is the ADHD, the depression was just a symptom.
A simple thing I tell people when this is brought up to me is that; “Everyone goes to the bathroom a few times a day but if you are going 60 times a day we can all agree you should see a doctor about that.”
It is a hard thing to treat, especially if you are undiagnosed until later in life, unwinding all the negativity around it in your life and dismantling all the unhealthy coping mechanisms is difficult the longer you live with it.
What we are seeing now with ADHD, and related similar conditions, is not a sudden over diagnosis and prescription to treat it but that it has been vastly under diagnosed and untreated and we as a society are just catching up as we start to understand it more.
Apologies, I didn’t mean to monologue at you as this wasn’t necessarily directed at you but you hit a piece of the much larger iceberg and it didn’t feel right to not expound on the topic holistically.
That’s because people don’t understand ADHD.…. It’s like someone saying they have OCD when they have some habit or quirk they think is unique. OCD is something that people tend to figure out kinda quickly, but ADHD gets dismissed because everyone does do some of the things ADHD does. They just don’t do it all the time or to the point where it affects their lives constantly.
No, bro, you just have ADHD and you're super special and different from all the normies.
Neurotypical people don't grasp what the other wants to say after the first few sentences?
To be fair: 95% of people saying 'I get it' definetly didn't got it.
Sauce: Ask anyone working in IT support
I am impatient with long descriptions, but I do find that in a minority of cases, the description does lead in to a distinction that I would not have intuited.
I try to reflect on that during long descriptions, particularly ones that are highly redundant with something I remember.
I find sometimes that repeating something they said and then asking a pointed question will derail the repetitive brain loop they are stuck in. I think a lot of people have gotten so used to being ignored, dismissed,or have just failed at communicating something they want to say so often that they have fallen into a "rinse and repeat" pattern for everything in their lives. They need their own words sent back to them to indicate that you have heard their words. And then asking a relevant question indicates that you are actually thinking about what they have said.
You guys are having conversations where someone gets to the point at the beginning?
I usually get a meandering barely tangential story that is supposed to be context but is irrelevant and gets in the way of communicating their simple point.
"snooggums, are you able to take off work tomorrow? I was walking the dog and ran into Cindy. You know Cindy, Bob's daughter? She went to Kansas State and majored in chemistry, but was never that into it. Anyway, so Cindy was talking about how they painted their house last year and the contractor wasn't someone you would want to work with because when she talked to them he said that he wasn't sure that the work was going well and he wanted to follow up to discuss the work with him. But then he said that it was ok and it all worked out. On the way back the dog had a limp, can you take her to the vet?"
Sorry, you have to picture a similar meandering explanation for something as that whole story has filled my brain for the morning.
snooggums, are you able to take off work tomorrow? I was ...
No.
There you go
Negative Ghostrider, doggo comes first!
This also happens to me in reverse. I get half a sentence out, the other person nods and says "yup" or "K", and then i say "yeah k so then anyway" and on to the next point
You'd go crazy in places like Japan where it can be common to use these verbal confirmations they're listening. Even considered rude or that you're not paying attention if you don't...
my nd friend group has a protocol for this! if you think you already understand what the other person is saying, you just say “avocado”. then they either ask some questions to confirm or just say “ok but i wanna info dump anyways” and then it’s COLLABORATIVE info dumping!
I can not nod any slower.
Then nod faster?
I only struggle when someone pauses after making a point that seems complete, only to start adding more points the moment i begin to reply. The most annoying part is that i feel like an asshole for just trying to engage. So then i sit there trying to multitask listening, holding into my response, editing it, and managing anxiety, which leads to missing most of their additional points. This varies wildly individual to individual.
Luckily people are pretty forgiving...
Strange... I don't remember making this comment and yet it's here already.
Are you me? This is literally me IRL ALL THE TIME!
In my experience though some people are forgiving, others not so much. But the ones that are often times can become friends
Pick one:
A) Sit there and try to listen while repeating your response in your head so you don't forget it, but you put too much attention towards that and miss everything they add
B) Listen intently, but forget what you wanted to say.
ADHD sure is a superpower!
Look at meme: "I'm pretty sure i got the condition"
Look medical resources: "This list of symptoms describes me."
Everyone you know: "I'm pretty you i got the condition"
The therapist: "That will take 6mo and $5k. to figure out and first we have to address the symptom of the condition to make sure the symptom isn't cauaing the condition, not included."
I grew up getting talked over at home. At school I was bullied and ostracized. After entering the workforce, I've been quietly beaten down at every workplace and made to feel like I should STFU at all times.
Today, people ask me why I'm so quiet most of the time and why I don't attend non-mandatory work functions or teambuildings anymore. I can only smile faintly and fakely while agreeing with them that I must be shy or simply have nothing to contribute.
It is what it is.
Then you finally give up and zone out for a bit.
Until you realize they just asked you a question.Living with my new roommate, about 2/3 of the infodumps she gives me about random stuff I already know. I always want to stop it because it feels like a minute of wasted time, but I don’t want to dissuade them from sharing info.
I end up just repeating “She doesn’t know what I do and don’t know” and just agreeing with the information when she’s done.
I only have this problem with my sister who will spend 30 minutes just to get to the point after grabbing my attention with 1 foot out the door as I am trying to leave.
I always feel that it’s a sign of disrespect to forcefully hold my attention instead of just saying what they want.
People use so much fluff and crap filler talk...even emails I get, cherry pick information all over, cut the garbage out and a 4 paragraph email is 2 sentences.
Give information and facts and leave your stories and deep thought explanations out of it. It's useless and horribly inefficient
It's funny you say that. I'm actively working to add intro sentences to more of my emails to add "fluff". Asking how their weekend was, commenting about the weather, sharing a one-sentence story about an experience I've had, etc.
I'm trying to build connection with people and not come off as terse/abrupt. My wife calls me out for it all the time.
ADHD aside interrupting people is rude.
It’s even worse when they start to stutter or loose their train of thought.
It would be better if they never loosed their train of thought on you in the first place.
Does anyone know people who tell you the same stories every other week and you already know it word by word? Do you say something or just wait awkwardly?
Yeah, people hate this. It's a serious struggle. You have to let them finish, and it's seldom easy to do that.
My wife absolutely hates it, though she knows why I do it.
I just repeat my 'yes' and grunts and 'I see' in triples. Aha, aha, aha, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, ok, ok, ok, click there, click there, click there, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, NO-NO-NO HIGHER yes-yes-yes, okay sigh.
I miss Bob
I like explaining things. Just let me have this.
It sho aint easy neither
