What's going to be your job on the hexbear compound?

I literally grow beans for a living now so growing beans

cop

Bottomless pit supervisor

Pigpoopball cleaner

I'm the guy forcing all of the poets to mine coal and all of the coal miners to write poetry.

I will be part of the straight, white male gulag. But as a straight, white, male I will take the burden upon myself to be the liaison to the Femme Queer Commune. This will be a self appointed position where I speak for my fellow straightoids on my breaks from the mines.

Someone's gonna have to maintain order in the horny jail and administer punishments.

I'll pet all the cats

I'm consulting with my handler, wait

Right, it looks like I'm gonna be the public facing lawyer who lives outside the compound.

Cum Retrieval Specialist

News anchor

Well since nobody offered to cook, guess I'll be

Stovetop and grilling only though I cannot be trusted with baking anything except like nachos.

I can make some mean breakfast, stir fry, kebabs, etc.

I also love gardening so that too since we would likely want to grow as many ingredients as possible.

that's not the workplace, it's my job title

I make chili and cornbread in industrial vats. We tell you that it's vegan, but the beanis are actually the ground up remains of beanis posters from badposting.

Scaring off chasers harassing trans comrades

Small business owner

i can do lots of handyperson stuff excluding plumbing or carpentry (but can learn). im not a tradesperson but do good DIY work and have plenty of tools

also clean and cook. if you let me i'll see where i fall on the femme-butch scale when i wake up each day and assign me tasks based on that

provide sanitary sewers and clean drinkable water for everyone. And farm some.

I can make nuclear weapons so we can defend ourselves.

I'm a nurse irl, so probably nurse!

rock stacker

Dirt master

i really wanted to mine coal but they made me read taror cards instead

I'm gonna mine coal!

Digging a hole to China.

Who need they spreadsheet mined?

But probably general maintenance. My favorite jobs were all fixing stuff: engines, guns, lasers, robots, computers, music gear, etc.

Any job that would have me, preferably something about growing food, though at night I'd be happy to tell scary campfire tales about how fucked up capitalism used to be.

Hard manual labor

I'll be making liquor. There's a good chance I end up consuming a large chunk of it though

Game room technician. I'll keep all the machines in working order and make sure the board games get put away properly.

Probably about what I do now, musician by night, medical assistant by day.

Cat Herder.

Seems like cook is covered so I’ll do the gardening

construction carpentry or cooking

Black Mage

I’ll provide a heat source, power, and refrigeration

Agriculture and hydroponics research.

Barring that? Compound defense. I'll get y'all clearing marksman if it kills me.

I'll be writing poetry in the coal mines

teacher and cook

Jail bird

I keep telling them I want to supervise a pit, but they keep telling me I have to be a poet

I'd like to play music, although that's not job-y. I like cooking, I'd be willing to do menial grunt work. Already do that.

Permanently Deleted

Toothbrush steward, because we have to share just one because no personal property

as much as i would like to be the cute trans librarian there also needs to be a strong agricultural workforce in order to make shit work so I guess Ill work the fields, ill bring my copy of Four Season Harvest though! it could be really cool!

My post-apocalyptic commune fantasy has been to be the gruff older guy who's secretly a softie, who fixes machines and gadgets, or build new ones out of scrap that the young whippersnappers haul back to the commune.

Cooking and massage, maybe some wood/metal working on the side

Professor

(Antiwork joke aside, I'll probably end up doing a lot of dishes and occasionally fixing things)

If possible, I'd love to work on modernizing the ancient spaghetti that holds up modern software infrastructure. Please let me be the people's rewriter in rust.

I'm the cook. My specialties are delicious hearty meals and hormones.

i can reinstall windows or macos for you

i also give great massages

Toilet hrt technician

Doing a whiteface minstrel show.

Daily provider of minimum one (1) cool bug that I found outside

Propaganda poster artist

I just hope all the routers are gone so I don't have to ever touch one again. Maybe I could be a beekeeper or something where being psychotically detail oriented is harmless

hard laborer

pinball

closet liberal

Beanis harvesting

Animal handler. There's going to be so many furry friends it'll be a full time job to keep them out of trouble.

Linux Distribution Maintainer (I occasionally edit a NixOS config file)

I want to just be nice to everyone and brighten their day, and help them with anything they might need. Need someone to help dig a hole? Hit me up. Need someone to vent about whatever to? Gimme a call.

I want to be a court jester but a court woke scold

I could probably look after potable water supply also, but really once you get the biosand setup going its pretty hands off so after a few months I'd be able to focus on woke scolding

Cook.

I like cooking and gardening. That or I could brush up on that water degree and treat shit.

Layabout

Spreadsheet maker

Idk... anything needed is anything needed

I'll be the commander of one of our liberated tanks, I'll have bags under my eyes, a permanent five o'clock shadow and a cup of anarchist coffee always in my hand

The tank's name will be Zhukov or something

Theyd probably force me to write shitty poetry or something

Assistant trailer park supervisor

I can bake a mean loaf of bread.

Unironically I'd love to help the cooking comrades.

However if we needed a teacher for writing or other humanities stuff I could cover that.

I could also work in the gulag as a friend for coop play.

https://hexbear.net/post/2957867?scrollToComments=false

My real use will probably in tech and mechanical/electronic engineering.

But if it's entirely my choice - I'll go pick tasty berries for everyone to eat.

give everyone cookies and soy milk :niko-happy:

I can produce our podcast (we're going to have a podcast, right?) and help maintain our fleet of bicycles. Possibly trains and/or tanks too, as needed.

I'll be the head a secret society and international Order.

We'll meet secretly to chit chat over drinks, everyone is welcome but no one can discuss it outside of the meeting under penalty of spanking.

I'll sort everyone into their houses. Sorry, you're Slitherin 😔

Handyman, general fixer and builder of stuff

Escuelerie

Whatever the party needs I'll do my best comrade 🫡

paraglider