Isnt that the point? Dont like it, use another instance. The point of federation is that you can choose the website you use without choosing the group of people you interact with. Thats why it should be more common. I dont want to lose contact with people because they wanna use messenger or snapchat. I have to use both on a daily basis and i hate it.
Yeah you can choose the instance your profile is on or where your browsing but you can't choose what instance a post was made on. If I see a meme on lemmy and want to share it with a friend who doesn't know about lemmy depending on how I get the link it could either be for the cached version on my instance or the "actual" link on the instance where it was posted. It seems the default behavior on the web ui for the share button is to do the cached version but depending what client you use this can be different.
It makes adoption harder if when people actually do try to spread posts the person on the other end is afraid to click it.
The whole point of federation is that content is coming from all sorts of different sources all with different levels of trust.
The default sharing behavior should be the cached version of a post, because the instance you’re on should be trusted to defederated from harmful instances and so that trust should carry over to those you interact with.
You should pick an instance you'd be happy for your friends to see in the links you share them, and send them your local links instead of the poster's instance link.