Most of the trick-or-treaters have been skipping my house, and I finally figured out why
Most of the trick-or-treaters have been skipping my house, and I finally figured out why
For years now, I've been watching most of the trick-or-treaters go to the house on one side of me, take one look at my house and walk right past it, and then go to the house on the other side.
I had no clue why. Maybe they were scared of my house or thought I'd give cheap candy (my house is a bit of a fixer-upper)? I completed my "curb appeal" projects; didn't help.
Maybe they thought nobody was home? I not only have the porch light on, but also have the living room TV on, clearly visible through the (open!) front window, and it makes no difference.
Maybe they think I'm not participating (despite the clear signal of the porch light and jack-o'-lantern)? I put up a bunch of Halloween decorations this year, and it still didn't help!
Well, I finally found out the reason, after hearing one kid scouting ahead yelling to tell his friends to skip my house: "there's no bowl on the porch!"
...You've got to be fucking kidding me.
Yep, unlike my neighbors, who had apparently just left unattended bowls of candy on their porches, I was actually sitting there inside the house, with the bowl of candy, waiting for kids to knock or ring the doorbell before I opened the door and handed it out. You know, like how trick-or-treating is supposed to work.
This is ridiculous. Kids these days are skipping viable houses with candy because they can't be bothered to actually knock on the damn door and say "trick or treat" to the person who answers? Residents are expected to be too lazy to answer the door, and just put out the candy without even receiving the traditional threat first? With no actual interaction with the neighbors for the kids to show off their costumes, what's even the point‽
I finally stuck a sign on the door saying "yes, you have to knock or ring for candy!" and that helped, but even then, some kids are still skipping my house because they apparently can't be bothered to read the sign.
That’s sad. We only leave the bowl out during the time we are out trick or treating ourselves. All trick or treating is under fire, it seems. Have you heard of trunk-or-treat? Gah. And even people who live in safe areas will like their kids into a car and go drive to some affluent neighborhood where the decorations are fancier and full size bars are being given out. I greatly value the experience of knocking on my neighbors’ doors and it’s sad to see people discount this community building experience.
And even people who live in safe areas will like their kids into a car and go drive
Yeah, I'm annoyed about that sort of thing, too -- albeit more about the car-brained laziness of parents idling a car from house to house instead of parking and walking with their kids, rather than the class issues -- but that's a different rant.
I greatly value the experience of knocking on my neighbors’ doors and it’s sad to see people discount this community building experience.
Thanks, you said what I was thinking but struggling to express.
I think maybe I'll bring it up with my community association, to see if next year we can't make some sort of organized effort to encourage door-answering (and communicate that renewed expectation to trick-or-treaters).
Me and some friends of mine went out “reverse trick or treating” tonight, we carried around a door knocking at houses and giving them candy, and doing the same for any trick or treaters, that kind of thing. We were really disappointed by how few people we saw, and a majority of the houses in the area just had bowls. It made us feel quite sad actually.
I think we were just in an older neighborhood, full of mostly empty nesters with a few younger couples. I hope anyways. There’s a part of me that’s worried that Halloween is like a dying holiday I guess, but maybe that’s just because I’ve gotten older and have a different perspective. Who knows.
The last time I was handing out candy at my old neighborhood, kids would ring the doorbell but then they'd just stand there and stare at me until I handed them candy. You're supposed to say "trick or treat"!
Now I live in an apartment, so I don't get trick-or-treaters. (I have candy just in case, but nobody ever knocks.) My roommate went to hang out with his sister and hand out candy at her place, and apparently their neighborhood has decreed that trick-or-treating ends at 7 sharp now so that nobody is out after dark? I don't get it. I thought staying out late (and, for teens, potentially unsupervised) was part of the fun!
This probably varies significantly place-to-place, all the kids in my neighborhood this year rang my doorbell fine.
My front door faces the courtyard, so you’d have to come through the gate, walk between the house and fence, and then around to the back to knock on the door. My house is one of the older ones in the neighborhood, with big trees and bushes and no porch light or anything. I’ve never had a trick-or-treater knock on my door. Maybe I should get a massive, highly coveted bag of candy just in case someone does - and then just give them the whole thing.
That's honestly pretty sad. If they don't want candy so be it. Eventually someone will knock.
I left a bowl of candy out once, and some teen boys took the whole bowl.
At my house we get north of 200 kids every year it's decent outside. Sometimes over 250. We're talking about a kid every minute for the 3.5 hours we do it.
I just set up a table outside, invite a few friends over, drink some beers and give kids candy as they show up. Fuck having to answer the door every minute for 3.5 hours.
My older neighbors complained that the kids don't have to come up to the front door and are skipping their house because I sit outside. I felt a little guilty, but honestly sitting outside (it it's cold I get a fire pit going, not tonight tho) is much nicer. One older couple followed my lead this year and agreed. So I'm over it now. Welcome to the new world.
We're also a sit outside house. Luckily October is pretty warm nowadays (wait...)
I do the same, minus the fire pit and friends but add in a costume. I've been a drunk pirate lately. I used to jump scares, but I find this routine more fun because, apparently, everyone is on edge and creep scares are jsit as easy
I'd sit outside with a table, candy, and a sign that says "You HAVE to say trick or treat, change my mind!"
That sounds like such fun! We got none this year. Maybe next time.
When I was a kid in the early-mid 2000s, knocking on the door was always a daunting prospect - people sitting out on their porch or steps were much more approachable, and much more the norm.
I took my kids out, one is almost 3 and the other is just over a year. So few houses in our neighborhood had ANY appearance of anyone home, let alone participating that it took nearly two hours to get about 15 houses. In a pretty standard suburb. At least two houses that were heavily decorated had nobody home and no bowl out. Two also had colorful lights but when we knocks on the door they looked confused when there were two toddlers yelling at them. One just shut the door in our face and the other sort of stood there for a minute with his mouth agape and finally said “I don’t have anything”. I mentioned to that guy that he MIGHT want to turn his lights off or there would be kids all night, but walking past at the end of our evening, all his lights were on still.
I left a bowl on my porch and had two small groups of respectful kids each take a couple pieces each (video doorbells have changed the game a little).
I mentioned to that guy that he MIGHT want to turn his lights off or there would be kids all night, but walking past at the end of our evening, all his lights were on still.
I think this is definitely part of it. When I was a kid, lights == giving out candy. Now, tonight, I had multiple trick-or-treaters almost go by my house before they noticed I was sitting outside with a bowl, despite the lights and decorations.
There’s a lady in my neighborhood who gives out juice boxes instead of candy. She’s become famous for it. In warmer years, trick or treating is thirsty work! I’ve heard that the parents sometimes ask for one.
Give out the best candy possible to the few who come by. The rumor of the amazing trove will spread. But then "run out" early so that some of them will miss out and learn the lesson for next year
My guess is, the kids aren't supposed to knock and interact with strangers anymore cause their parents are scared.
Some places, trick or treating has been replaced with a group of parents driving to a parking lot and their kids going from truck to truck.I just got back from taking one of my kids trick or treating with his friends. It was great. My wife and I got to walk and chat with the other parents while all of our kids knocked on doors and shouted "trick or treat!". Lots of friendly, generous, nice people. And lots of shouted reminders from us for the kids to not walk on people's front lawns, to say thank you, to be careful crossing the quiet roads. There were so many other kids out too. It was pretty crazy, but in a good way. About half of the houses were giving out candy in some way or other, with only about a quarter having an un-monitored bowl.
Then on the way home we drove past a church that was having a 'trunk or treat' in their parking lot. That just looked sad. There was no excitement for going up to the really cool houses that were decked out in amazing props and decorations. There was no need to hone analytical skills to determine which houses were giving out candy and which ones probably weren't. Just going very short distances from one car to the next getting candy. My kid asked why they do that. I said it's probably because they are a closed community who don't really want to associate with 'outsiders'. Give me the conventional experience over that all day every day!
My town does this at the city square. It started with all of the businesses around the square getting together to give out candy. Then the next year more people showed up for it. Then last year the city took over, did no advertising and almost no one showed up for it. Heck we went to another area to give out candy because we did not know. This year the city did it again, with zero advertising. There was a decent turn out for kids, but very few people giving out candy.
Our town is small and old, there are huge gaps between houses, much more so than when we lived in the city.
The latter has been popular in rural areas too for years, because the alternative is driving your kids from house to house. I would have made it to like 5 houses a year max if I’d tried to walk as a kid (and probably got run over, lol).
In a rural area, that makes sense. I can also understand if a school or parent group organizes this for kids who live in unsafe areas. But it’s perhaps even more popular in affluent areas because the paranoia there is just that intense.
We're semi-rural (multi acre lots often with houses set almost at the back of lots), this was my first Halloween out here, I was following the kids with a car cause it was cold and snowy. But apparently the other parents in the neighborhood all hang out and set up a flatbed trailer with a fire pit, lawn chairs, and beer just being hauled around by a UTV. I need to learn how to make friends as an adult.
They're doing trunk or treat now, when they go to a planned event hosted by businesses during the sunlight hours. I guess it's still fun, but it loses the neighborhood charm.
I put a bowl out once. The first kid that came emptied the whole lot into his bag and I had nothing left. So now I keep it inside and if they don't knock it's their loss and I get treats.
That kid will grow up to be very successful in the corporate world.
CEO material.
I had a doctor's appointment on Halloween a few years ago. I was getting ready to go out, I put out a bowl of candy (nice mix of different chocolates) and went back inside to grab my purse and my test results for the doctor. I was inside for maybe 45 seconds? During which time I heard a couple kids come up to the porch, say something like "What do you think?", and a slight scuffling sound. When I exited the house about 20 seconds later, they'd scooped the entire bowl clean and disappeared.
I knew I'd miss it this year. Honestly, just didn't decorate so no candy. It got me thinking though. Maybe something like an automatic pet feeder can curtail the greedy little shits. Obviously, the feeder would have to be out of reach.
That's just how economy works. Anyway I always hated to interact with strangers and still do.
We sit on the porch and pass it out.
This year we offered candy or pickle. We went through a gallon jar of pickles!
The pickle thing is weird. I also would be concerned about contamination.
Do you at least make them say "trick or treat"
A few years back, I handed out candy for friends while they took their kids around the neighborhood, and a group of kids jokingly asked for potatoes. I obliged and grabbed them each a potato from the pantry.
When my friends came back, the potato house was apparently the talk of the kids in the neighborhood.
Kirkland pickles
When the weather is nice like it is this year, we put a table and chairs out on our driveway and decorate it. We sit there and have a drink and pass out candy. It's more fun than answering the door, and we end up chatting with neighbors and parents. Our next door neighbors did the same thing as us this year, and it was even more fun, as they were right next to us hanging out.
Its probably a covid relic or something. Kids knock on my house when I'm not even there cause I have my own kids (and yes, I leave a bowl outside and they still knock)
That seems plausible, except that I've been living here since long before COVID and have been suffering a lack of trick-or-treaters the entire time.
Actually, that reminds me of another failed hypothesis: when I first moved in, the neighborhood was just starting to gentrify and was still a little rough, so at first I figured the lack of trick-or-treaters was due to the lack of families with children in the neighborhood in general. Plenty of 'em now, though.
You are if course right and they are wrong. But it's possible they learned this by being yelled at by some curmudgeon who sits at home with their lights on, watching TV on Halloween but screaming at anyone who dares ask for candy. And at all the houses with kids, who welcome them, the parent is out chaperoning their little tribe. Ergo bowl. I say parent because of course they're all divorced by the time the kids are walking.
How to teach them right? Put a sign on your gatepost, not at the door, easily seen from the street. Remember, if they're under 3rd grade they're still learning to read, so keep it simple:
RING BELL FOR CANDY! 🎃🍫🍭🍬👻
Once they do that, you can remind them to say Trick or Treat, and/or admire their costumes.
Baby steps.
We just finished. We were 0-10 on knocking on doors. Eventually they gave up and kept on trucking.
We hand it out - one chocolate and 2 non-chocolate. I do most of it because my husband lets them put their disgusting paws in the bowl and take handfuls.
ETA: you could put out a bowl with a little candy and reload it after each kid/group.
I had a similar situation, and even if I left out a bowl on the porch, the kids would look but keep walking. Finally figured out that some neighbors had shared a link to my Megan's Law profile on Nextdoor.
They've grown up in a world where immediate gratification is expected.
I know every generation says that about younger generations, but perhaps that's because with every generation it just gets worse and worse.
No, they’ve grown up in a world where knocking on doors gets you fucking shot lmao
Lemmyml moment