Genuine question: what's the best way to cut through this kind of talking point?
The best I can come up with is "terms created by marginalized people to describe how people do or do not relate to mainstream society are different from terms imposed by the majority society to coerce marginalized people into a box, and refusing a label in order to obstruct understanding isn't the same as refusing a label imposed by majority society". Like, I don't see any problem to use words used to describe the "normal" identity (cis, hetero, etc) for people that do not express any desire to deviate from the "normal" identity in any way for the sake of improving the understanding of marginalized people. But I'm not sure that's convincing to someone who doesn't already agree (perhaps not for the sake of convincing the person you're arguing with, but the onlooking bystanders).
It's just such an annoying tactic because the bad faith is usually obvious but it's hard to clearly formulate why. I guess it basically just boils down to "more allowances should be given to the people on the bottom than the people on the top", but some of the people on top never stop complaining about that.
Either you are Cis or Trans it is a binary, if you are stating you aren't cis then you are stating you are trans.
Gender is a spectrum if you are stating you are not a man then there are many other gender expressions you could be. Hence, the need for self-identification or pronouns, the only situation I can think of in which one would need to disclose being Cis or Trans is in a medical situation or intimate relationship.
In my opinion, this makes the argument of "you are denying my self-identification of not cis is the same as me denying your self-identification of gender expression nonsensical"
i mean he genuinely doesn't identify as cis because that's not how he thinks about stuff.
agender people are (probably, shoutout to hippie parents) trans as-in not cis and non-binary by definition but a lot of us don't primarily identify as trans or NB.
we're also all earthlings but there are very few "citizen of the world" types around.