Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you?
Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you?
So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.
Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3
EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.
Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.
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I was thinking about my next move in socks, then remembered my last move in socks and then this post.
One of the things holding me back from being a shorts guy was that I never had socks I was happy to show the world when I wore them. I went to the store to address that and found these low-cut ballerina-slipperesque socks in the mens' section. I checked the package to confirm that it had the "M" of approval, bought them and took them home. Only after trying to wear them did I realize that they failed the most basic test of a sock, separating my foot skin from my shoes.
Another time, I was looking for a scarf but felt compelled to seek out an employee to confirm that the scarves were unisex and I wasn't going to commit a faux pas by buying from the wrong pile. Now that I search, though "women's scarves" does appear to be a real category.
And then there was my first winter somewhere really cold. I went to a bougie store and got a winter hat ahead of when I would actually need it. When I did put it on, it was really roomy. I have a big head so I had never experienced that before. The only explanation that I could think of was that the hat was designed to allow a big elaborate hairstyle underneath to maintain its shape underneath. "Had I bought a women's hat?" I asked not one, but two friends and we didn't come to any definitive conclusions but since I had been wearing the hat around for a week, decided to keep doing so.
I wish I hadn't been programmed to care so much about the appropriateness of clothes to my gender.
Back to socks, though; the ballerina socks were among the few I've thrown out before wearing holes into them. All of my other socks have fallen into the "fine" or the "bad but I'll still wear them" categories. Some have to be thrown out and I want to be a little more deliberate in my shopping this time because I'm traveling for a while and can't take the whole drawer with me. Does anyone have socks they really like? They will be subject to much walking in warm but not scorching temperatures. Brand, fabric or style recommendations would be great.
tbh I really like compression socks, and they're especially great for when you have to sit for long periods like for work or whatever. I got an assortment pack that has some cute designs, like one pair is black and has raccoons on it. Another is neon blue and pink and has flamingos. If it all possible, you should maybe try going against your gendered programming and get something you genuinely think is cute and/or comfortable :D
Have a look at running ankle socks. They have padded bits for your heels and balls of the feet. Very comfy but they can be pricey. I've only ever bought the cheapest running socks I can find. No idea about the brand, unfortunately.
I got sweaty feet, so finding the pefect material is important. These are technically "women's", but it's more a sizing thing. ( https://sockologie.com/products/busy-bees-womens-crew-socks-socksmith )They're around 30% polyester and wear down within the year, but the comfort has been worth it. Balega has short socks if you don't want to worry about matching them up with shorts or shirt. I've had some of those pairs last years, though keep in mind they're procey.