Mine has also been up to the wrist in vagina, with moderate colon (limited to the digits). I let people know this before they shake my hand, in the spirit of transparency.
Proper uncensored version thanks to @baatliwala@lemmy.world
Couldn't find a wild uncensored version, so here's an edited version. #FuckCensorship
Ohhhh i thought it said duck and I was confused
What a quack.
If you post censored shit I'm going to PM you shittingdicknipples and lemonparty.
/shakes tiny fist wistfully
Thank god
I hold a duck once, didn't know it was that widespread.
I wonder what it says under that grey bar. No way to tell.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
You'll touch my dick and you'll like it goddammit
Pftt I’m not afraid of a drink!
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Counterpoint: a greater number have touched a vagina (but that framing doesn't obsess over a woman's sexual purity, so, clearly less important)
I should hope so. If somebody shook my hand and, while maintaining eye contact, and confessed they've been free-willying every pee of their life, hands behand their head, I would have to seriously reconsider our relationship.
"Almost" is a bit optimistic. Are femcels getting office jobs these days?
Some people are straight and left handed. Typically shake with your right. Possible to split the responsibility completely although has to be rare.
While I was shaking it.
As all things should be (unless unwanted)
profound.
Never thought about it but obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons. And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand. This is now stuck in my head. The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.
bro is gonna loose it when he learns about lesbians
Honestly curious about this. I don't think that people turn into homosexuals. They either are or aren't at birth. But in the case of lesbians, which you raised, I wonder how many have at least once experimented with at least one hetero interaction which would involve penis holding
Hey, uh, don't refer to male humans as "men" and then female humans as "females" like that. It's kinda dehumanizing.
Like, I get calling men, "males" and women "females", because I'll do that sometimes (I claim fur-brain as my defense, because calling anthro characters "man" or "woman" is weird); but try not to do the thing where you say "men" then "females" as if we're a complete different species. That's... just... not appropriate in a normal context.
You're assuming all women of sufficient age have had sex, which is just not true. Many women (and men) don't have an interest in sexual activity, or haven't had an opportunity to engage in it, regardless of age.
everyman
females
Everywomen/everymales
all [women] old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.
Nah.
Gonna has to go piece by piece through this:
obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons.
This line is trans-exclusive, which would probably be given a pass by all but the most ardent trans-inclusive commenters, but still not great.
And all females
Dude. There are some times when an argument is made that saying "females" is not inherently objectifying, especially in a scientific, military, or other setting where people are categorized that way, with the significant difference being consistency (e.g. man/woman, male/female, etc). Using one then the other strips all that away and makes it seem like referring to women as "females" is just your normal tendency, which strongly suggests the objectifying behavior.
And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.
This is just obviously wrong, as plenty of lesbians, asexual people, or those with lack of access to sexual connections with others have not had a dick in their hands, and that is not an insignificant percentage of women, I'd imagine.
The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.
As if to underline the "females" comment, it's pretty telling that you feel it worth mentioning that you're going to wonder how many dicks were in the hands of women, but not men (especially funny since any man you meet has most likely had a dick in his hand more recently than a woman).
Sometimes it is difficult to notice your own biases, so I hope this makes you think about what leads you toward thinking like this, and just general self-reflection.
And some men sit to pee
There are so many issues with this comment. Judgy and naïve in the best interpretation.
I hate that OP is on my radar now but they seem to be constantly testing the bigotry waters, seems like possible ban evasion as well
LOL. The politically correct police are on your ass tonight!
I cannot believe the seriousness of these replies. What is it the kids say? "Touch grass"?
Pretty sure it's "eat ass".
It is amazing how so many people cannot simply joke around. Politics so consume their lives every single thing in life is viewed only in that context. And not only cannot they not simply joke around they are on a mission to impose their views on anyone who disagrees with them. What a sad way to go through life. Social media in general is all a joke. And this group specifically is all about just getting a laugh.
Men/Women Male/Female
Those are the pairings you wanted. But, for fun, try swapping them next time and see what kind of attitude folks get.
Male/Women
Do it. Rustle some jimmies.
