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[✓] Small Pox
[✓] Murder Hornets
[ ] Twitter
We're almost there, humanity!
- Can't you just literally put an [X] for Twitter?
  
  [ ] X
  
  [❌] Twitter
  
  Ex-twitter
- Yes, the only three problems!
  
  Oh wait someone has started unchecking all the previously checked boxes
- Small pox won't be checked for long.
  
  Declared extinct in the wild by the WHO in 1980.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re totally eradicated. All is now fine, there’s nothing to worry about. Sleep well!” - Sneaky Murder Hornet.
- “Somehow, the murder hornets have returned.”

- – Ladies and gentlemen, we got'em.
  
  breakcore starts blasting
- lol

Would have been solved much quicker if they where ceo killing hornets
- LMAO. Its sad that this is so funny because its true.

Uhh, first win since WW2. Congrats.
- How about every fucking World Series there bucko? Nice try!
  
  I'm guessing you mean the mislabeled North American Championship?
  
  And every Superbowl!
- Smallpox?
- (cough desert storm)

(camera focuses on the news playing on a TV in a home in the countryside, slowly pulling back away from the monitor)
"...thanks to their efforts, experts have now stated with certainty that this threat has been eradicated..."
(the camera has pulled back enough that the screen is framed by an outside window with a tree trunk coming into frame from the right)
"...and many communities in the northwest united states can breathe easier knowing that these dreaded hornets are no longer found on our shores. Reporting from Seattle..."
(focus shifts to the tree bark. Buzzing is heard, getting louder and louder until a single murder hornet queen lands on the tree. Cut to black. Roll credits)
- Coming Soon...
  MURDER H4NET
  
  Murd3r Horn3t: The Buzz3ning
  
  Snakes On A Plane 4: This Time It's Hornets- A film by Chat GPT

Hey hey, the US actually won a war! Been a long time coming..

Yeah sure "murder hornets". Like "murder japs", "murder communists", "murder vietnamese", "murder gays", "murder blacks" or "murder arabs" before. I think I'll hold off celebrating until I know how much oil those hornets had in stock.
- Hey man, I don't disagree with you.
  However, I think if you take every article you read and turn it into, "meanwhile I am waiting for someone to fix the planer." You are not really doing much. All of us, including myself, want what you want but those are things that are irrelevant to this article and we should take to things that are relevant.
  Fuck fascism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and anything else that is down right degrading to any human being who is just trying to be happy
  In the same vain though, fuck hornets, fuck those little murderous monstrosities.
  
  That was a joke about USA assigning threatening labels to anything it threatens or exploits to make public afraid of it instead of being supportive of it. As most jokes, it based on the subversion of expectations, which in this case was the suggestion that hornets are good and misunderstood. Comparing them and what they're doing to bees to gay or black people was intended as a sprinkle of dark humor, implying their (hornets!) destructive nature finds parrarels with the multitude of oppressed kinds of people.
  Way to tell me I'm unfunny and my sense of humor sucks, man (jk)
- I hadnt heard "murder gays". Not sure that one is very dangerous sounding. Statistically speaking, dangerous gay people must exist, I just have never met one personally. Odd.
  
  Well, check Jeffrey Dahmer media portrayal. It fed well into the "gay panic" of the times. Check this article from 1994: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1994-11-29-mn-2780-story.html Emphasis of the lust, homoeroticism etc. being the driving factor of the murders, while there are no mentions of diagnosed mental disorders. And yeah, "murder gay" sold far worse than, for example, "murder black" which is a timeless classic media go to each time any socioeconomic strife involving any black people happens. Seemingly the public was less receptive of the "murder gay" narrative so they eventually moved on.

- Supportive Emu noises

Until the next ones arrive on another ship
- a space ship
  EDF! EDF!
  
  Quatermass disapproves

America and its "wars against...."
America hasn't won any war since WWII, and that includes wars against drugs, countries, people, religions, etc. I highly doubt they won this one. I remember "mission accomplished"
- armed conflicts
- I mean there is an argument that though they lost a lot of battles they did eventually win the cold war.
  
  The cold war ended?
  
  Did they, now?
- We don't start or lose them either.
- Russians did most of the winning in WWII too. What with being on the other side of the ocean and all
  
  lemmy.ml
  Obviously
  
  Are you high?
  If not, what are your talking about? Are you a tankie type or something?

finally some good fucking food...
Anybody know where i can get some murder hornets from? (i jest, ofc)
shitposting aside, how rare is it that invasive species are eradicated before becoming a problem? Can't be that common.
- Never. Cause the definition of "Invasive species" includes it being a problem. Otherwise they're called "Introduced species".
  
  Yeah they are probably lying. They can not know with 100% certainty that these giant asian hornets have all been eradicated in the us. They couldn't get rid of something as benign as the spotted lantern fly or the marmorated stink bug but sure lets believe they got rid of a hornet as big as a humming bird that has facial recognition capabilities and can unalive people with a swarm no larger than 50 to 100 of the fuckers
- Pretty uncommon but it has happened. Especially with agricultural pests where there is a large industry that can push for a proper response. I’m guessing beekeepers were the industry in question this time.
  If it only affects nature and not industry then it’s usually ignored.

I'd just like to thank everyone for doing their part, posting, reposting, and fear mongering it.
- Finally outright won a war, huh?
  Well done, please don't get a taste for it. It's usually a good thing that the American public can pull the American military out.

Now you gotta send help to Australia. Those damned emus are a worthy adversary.
- 🫣
- Who to help? Australia is run by emus. They won in war.
- Pretty sure you guys have bought all our good toys, except the F-22. We won't let that thing out of the hanger.

Whew. Looks like the feds didn't find the colony of buzzy buddies I've been nurturing in the suburbs.
Can't wait for spring!

They really didn't go with homicidal hornets? We actin' like fun alliterations just come around all the time now?

War against Murder CEOs remains unresolved.

It was wild seeing researchers bait them with Meat and tie flags to them, but the fact that this strategy actually worked longterm is beyond wild.
- Sorry what
  
  They used the flags as tracking targets for cameras, usually mounted to drones, and then followed the murder hornets back to their hives. EXAMPLE VIDEO

It sounds stupid but I really want to imagine China was behind all this as a test run of bio warfare via invasive species and there's just some random CCP agent going Rats! We've been foiled again. Start dumping more corn syrup into our honey exports!