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3w ago

"Zero fucks given" in other languages

218 comments

Flowers on my dick and bees all around is so mysterious
- It was all the buzz in those days!
  Honey, stick around; I’ve got more where those came from.
  
  Buzz off, we don't need you droning on.
- Maybe it’s something more like “I dislike this situation”? Because I’d honestly be freaking out if my dick was covered in flowers and I was surrounded by bees. That’s how you get bees on your dick which seems objectively bad. I would give a fuck.
  
  I interpret it as "I don't give a fuck about it, and I'm so calm about it that I can literally have flowers on my dick and bees around it and I'll be safe, I'm a Buddha of fucking calmness about this situation, I'm one with nature and the planet".
  You know, bees attack you only if you do some violent movements. I'm overthinking it, but I agree from the bunch it's the one that stands out. So poetic.
  
  But bees are typically not aggressive unless you frighten them. It might even tickle a little.

Not as obviously cool as the above, but I always liked the way Tagalog (Philippines) works: wala akong pakialam. Literally translated, it's just "I don't care," but there's a layer of passive-aggressiveness that can make it really offensive.

To break it down: "wala" (Nothing, don't have) "ako(ng)" (I, me), "paki-" (polite request), "-alam" (to know).
Basically, that construction throws out the entire culture of politeness while blatantly saying you don't want anything to do with knowing about whatever that is. In many contexts, it's more offensive than swearing at the person.
- I love this. The closest I've come in English is replying to a huge angry text rant with "Unsubscribe"
  
  I feel like you can get somewhat close with some english speaking cultures, youd be surprised how pissy folks from the South get when you respond to their passive aggressive BS with curt but utterly impolite responses.
- Sounds like like saying "didn't ask"

More fitting would be German "das geht mir am Arsch vorbei" "it passes me by the ass".
- If you say so.
  Mir ist das Wurst
  
  The Dutch have this too.
  Het zal me worst wezen
- Wayne...
  
  Es ist eine ältere Referenz, aber sie prüft aus
- More from German:
  "Das ist mir X" = "It is X to me,"
  where X = banane, brot, bumbel, bums, egal, gleich, latte, pisse, relativ, schnuppe, schnurz, schwanz
  (banana, bread, booger, fuck, equal, same, boner/slat, piss, relative, meteor/snuff, ?, tail/dick)
- Juckt?

I'd say french je m'en bat les couilles is technically "I slap my balls with it"
- Oh, so I'm just supposed to slap my balls with something large like a tank? Come on!
  
  A big thing that would hurt to slap your balls with isn’t something to ignore.

How about the Brazilian “I am shitting and walking” (cagando e andando), similar to a horse or donkey that shits while walking and pulling a cart, like it is nothing, without a care in the world…
- Or, more commonly, "Tô nem aí" which would translate to "I'm not even there".
  
  Pode ficar com seu mundinho.
  Eu não tô nem aí
  (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
  
  Too polite… has to be on the same level as the OP’s expression.
- If I were a donkey and that happened to me I'd be mad. Nothing worse than a morning where you don't have time to take a shit in peace
- similar to a horse or donkey that shits while walking and pulling a cart, like it is nothing, without a care in the world
  I appreciate the imagery.

When I talk about preserving Linguistic Diversity, this is what I mean.

I mean a kilogram of shit is a big shit. Googling says an average shit is half a kilogram (one pound). This is interesting shit.
- So a kilogram is two shits. "I don't give two shits".
  
  You came here from r/theydidthemath, didn’t you?
  
  The beauty and elegance of the metric shitstem is truly something to behold.

Less vulgar finnish version
"Kiviäkin kiinnostaa."
i.e. rocks are also interested (about that subject)
- And that's a way more common way to say it IMHO.
  
  "Zero fucks given" is both vulgar and not the most common way to say you don't care about something in English. So the best equivalents should all be vulgar as well.

I’m Dutch. Never heard of that phrase. They probably mean “It can rust on my ass” “‘t kan me aan mijn reet roesten” still never heard people using that. Is probably regional.
- I use it sometimes. We also use an equivalent of the German one: het zou mij worst wezen.
- Flemish: kan mij geen reet schelen
- It's even in the lardass van dale: https://www.vandale.nl/gratis-woordenboek/nederlands/betekenis/reet
  
  lardass van dale?
- i’m american. i’m pretty sure it should say “it can oxidize on my donkey”… for no reason.

I slap my balls on it (French)
If that one sounds weird, the translation misses the point that it's a masturbation reference. It should be "i beat my balls to it". Compare with "je m'en branle", litterally "i jack to it"
- I think it was a translation of « je m’en bats les couilles »
  (Which would translate more to "I slap my balls OF it")
  Ball grammar today… who would’ve thunk 😅
  
  I'm also confused by the translation of the French idiom.
  But then I'm also confused by the idiom itself: I think initially it's "j'm'en branle", "I'm wanking off of it".
  Then the hit my balls part should be similar to "beat your meat".
  Hence my proposed translation: I'm beating my balls off of it.
  And yes it's quite rude language in French too, that I'm sure!
  But... There's more !
  Like many foul language in French, it can be decorated and escalated, even if it deteriorates the meaning. For the same idiom, some variations specify what you're using to beat your balls: With a tart server: j'm'en bats les couilles avec une pelle à tarte With a french window: j'm'en bats les couilles avec une porte fenêtre
  If you're the proud owner of a vagina you would instead say: "j'm'en bats les steaks". Steak is the same English word but here it refers to your labia. Then I guess the same variations as above can be applied.
- That makes no sense to me. If you're masturbating to something it means you care about it quite a bit!
  
  You're not jacking off to it, it's more that masturbating is more important to you than whatever it is

That "Spanish" saying is a Spain saying. Things get more colorful in the new world.
- Came here to say this. Not only is it european spanish but it's also a bit dated. Nowadays they would say "this makes mine sweat" (mine is a noun here, as in my thing) and where i'm from we say "this is worth dick to me" (which i hope will also be outdated sometime soon)
  
  Thanks for your comment. It's worth a sweaty cucumber to me.
  
  Ok, me la suda I recognize, what's the second one and where are you from?
- Well, it is the most Spanish version of the language there is.
  
  you also agree that England has de most English version of the language too?

Also in French: "it touches one (ball) without moving the other"
- As famously said by a former president of the country.

This is why I'm still on the Internet.
- Same.

"My dick hurts" - various west Balkan languages.

I slap my balls with it will be my catchphrase for 2025
- French dudes running around tea-bagging everything they hate
  
  Sounds like a regular afternoon in Paris
- It is "I slap my balls ON it", you frenchist
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrmZAXezkhA
  
  ah The State, well played

I offer "me vale madre" or "me vale verga" n Mexican Spanish.
The first one is weird, madre in this context both does and doesn't mean "mother". It's closer to to the mother in "motherfucker" than it is to "I fucked your mom".
They both mean "I don't give a shit" although with different flavors of vulgarity.
The second one is literally "this means dick to me"

Dutch and Greek go unnecessarily hard. Yeah, "I slap my balls on it" is good, but it really does just have the same vibe as "I don't give a fuck." The Greek make it poetic and the Dutch add that specific scientific component that give it that pop.
- The translation of the Dutch one is awkward. It's more like "it can rust on my ass"
  
  I assumed that's what it meant, oxidizing is just the fancy word for rusting. But still, rust is science because Mars has rust and science guys like looking at Mars.
- I'm pretty sure these actually mean "I don't give a fuck/shit"
  
  Aht. I meant to type that and ended up typing the awkward phrasing from the post. Fixed it.

Danish: "Det rager mig en papand"
Lit. "That fondles me (like) a cardboard duck."
- What is a cardboard duck and how has it got this meaning?

It concerns me (like) a cardboard-duck. (Danish)

In Germany we also have "das geht mir am Arsch vorbei", which translates to "that goes across my ass". It's the more vulgar version of "ist mir wurst" or "it's sausage to me"
- A better translation would be "that passes by my ass".
  
  Yes, that's way better
- The sausage would then go across your ass? Both kinda referring to a turd?
  
  You don't mix them ;)

Greek Yeah I know of that phrase but it's not really used. It's as funny in Greek as it is in English.
Most common is "on my balls", the short version of I am writing it/him/her on my balls. Implying that you care so little you have the name of it/him/her written on your balls. Yeah it does t make much sense.
The lighter version (you would see in subtitles for example) is "to me there is no nail being burned". I don't know where it comes from. Must be something to do with nails being left behind when you burn wooden structure.
Edit: oh I remembered another; "I shat myself".
- Or a simple "Na" while pointing to your nether region will do as well.

I really like the Dutch one.
- It's not very accurate IMO. I would translate it more like "it can rust on my ass" which has a bit different tone.

Polish would probably be "Mieć wyjebane", which comes from "Mieć wyjebane jajca". It is also balls-related but more like "I have my balls out for that".
- I have my balls out for Harambe. And yet I care.
- That's newspeak, the more traditional version would be: Chój mnie to obchodzi - I care a dick about it - or mam to w dupie - I have that up my arse.

J’m’en crisse.
- Y a pas de traductions possible? Quebec is untranslateable. I Christ myself about it...
  
  The Quebecois sure are a blasphemous people, I'll give em that - I've never seen such commitment to the art of profaning, and I'm in ex-cult communities!
  Genuinely goals
  
  A variant, when you are pissed off is to slowly, and precisely, say: Je. M’en. Câlissssssss

"det skiter jag högaktningsfullt i" - with care and respect, i am shitting into it.
"det ger jag inte ett korvöre/ruttet lingon för" - i would not give a sausage cent/rotten lingonberry for it.
"det ger jag själva fan i" - i give satan himself.
- Those are more like "I couldn't care less" or "I don't give a fuck". But several of the examples in the post image are more like that too. "Zero fucks given" is of course similar but I think it's different enough to where many examples here don't really work.
  Another kinda not right but related example:
  "Intresseklubben antecknar" - the club of interest is taking notes.
  A sarcastic reply saying there is a club of people interested in whatever you're replying to but you mean that you're not part of it.
  
  i was also going to bring up "k bry" but that's would require an explanation of hamsterpaj and friends...
- Which language is this? I can never differentiate between all you northerners.
  
  Swedish
  Pro tip, Norwegian/Danish uses åæ ø while Finnish and Swedish uses å ä ö.

In portuguese it would be "tou me pouco cagando" which mean "I'm pooping a little" and I think that it is beautiful.
- Is that meant sarcastically, as in "I'm so excited I just pooped a little..."? Or is there some other context?
  
  It's a little hard to explain but it means something like: I care so little about it that I am pooing myself. Or like I care more about pooing myself than what you are saying. And the little part would mean something like I care even less. So it would mean something like: I care so little about it that it is worth less than me pooing myself.
- "É para o lado que durmo melhor"
  Lit. Trans. Whatever is the side I sleep better
- I like that.

Like water on a goose - Swedish
Just thought of one that takes a bit of explanation. In Swedish, much like German, words are joined to create longer words. Such as smörgåsbord(sandwich table). The smurfs in Swedish are therefore called gammelsmurfen (old smurf), "anything"smurfen. Because of this, people jokingly say "intressesmurfen antecknar" ( interest smurf is taking notes) to indicate that they don't care about what somebody is saying
- This may be the least vulgar one yet, lol

"No me importa un pepino", I don't care about a single cucumber
"Me importa un pepino", shortened version, I care one cucumber, which is what OP was going by probably

One of the ways to say in Brazilian Portuguese: "estou cagando e andando"
Literally, "I am shitting and walking (simultaneously)"

Not my circus, not my monkeys. (English)
- Like the server said, "Not my table!"

A few others from french :
J'en parlerai à mon cheval (I'll make sure to tell my horse)
Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade (Talk to my ass, my head is sick/ill)
Je m'en tamponne le coquillard (no idea how to translate this, but here is a fun explainer, also in french)

Czech (pretty much also Slovak):
"Mám v piči" - I have that in my pussy
"Je mi to u prdele" - it is (exists) next to my anus
- We also say "it's sausage to me", as Czech-German calques are very common, but the more frequent expression is "it's blow to me".(as in a gust of air).
  I haven't heard "Mám v píči" but probably because it's the most informal option.
  
  Similar to sausage one ("Je mi to buřt") there's also "Mám to na salámu" (I have that on salami). Another one that I hear quite often is "Je mi to šumák" (It's a fizzy drink to me).
  Mám v piči: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXktQC4h9sE&pp=ygUMbcOhbSB2IHBpxI1p

Should add the ex yugos. My dick hurts.
- Or my favourite "otpade mi kurac". My dick is falling off
  
  Never heard that one before

Romanian would be either "I'll put my feet in it" or "I'll put my dick in it"
- That's more like "I give up" / "I don't care anymore" (equivalent of "fuck this"). Not giving a fuck is "mă doare-n cot / în cur / în pix / în pulă / în șpiț" ("it hurts in my elbow / ass / pen / dick / no idea")
- Polish "w chuju to mam" is the reverse (I have it in my dick)
  
  In?
  
  In Polish it would be "jebie mnie to" which is "it fucks me". Which could mean the sayings are compatible.
  
  Mam to w dupie is more common in my circles.

What are they doing in the Netherlands?
- A better translation would be: it can rust my ass. But idk if that makes more sense
  
  And to add to that: "it's (a) sausage to me", het zal me (een) worst wezen, is also perfectly fine in Dutch. "It can rust my ass" is a bit stronger worded.
  
  Yeah it does

"It doesn't fuck a dick to me"
Italian
- That is "non me ne fotte un cazzo"/"non me ne frega un cazzo" I suppose. There are so many variations, like "me ne sbatto il cazzo" (also "I jerk off to it").
  My personal favorite anyway is relates to this, bit with more subtext, quite used in Rome: "e ar popolo?" ("and to the people...?") which implies "e ar popolo de Milazzo?" ("and to the people from Milazzo?"), which has the riming rethorical answer "non jene frega n'cazzo" (same as the first). I love it because it's both ironical, passive-aggressive, dismissive and (somewhat) vulgar at the same time.
- When you see a picture and at first think the humanoid is committing lewd acts in the nude, but then realize that it's probably not committing lewd acts in the nude

Turkish: Not on my cock (Sikimde değil)

Layeth thine eyes upon my field of fucks and behold that it is barren.
- Now that has(eth) style.

There are more vulgar ones in Spain:
Me la suda ("la" refers to "la polla"): It makes my dick sweat
Me la pela: It peels my dick
Me importa una mierda: That matters a shit to me
Obviously, this last one is closer to "I don't give a shit," but it's essentially the same sentiment.

This is missing the worst one to translate:
I have kama two.
It doesn't fully make grammatical sense in the original Estonian form either. The "have" part is also usually skipped, leaving just the noun case implying ownership over the kama
This is just one of many ways to say it in Estonian. We really are a nonfuckgiving people, except when we give too many of course. You can also say "I have clay" or "I have a (violin) bow". Of course these are just slightly rude (depending on tone and conversational partner), you can also say "doesn't ballsack me".
- And you could ask back "mis see minu perset nokib?" what translates to "why would it peck my ass?"
  
  Usually I've heard it as "torgib" instead of nokib so it would be poke instead of peck, but maybe that varies regionally.

Ma doare in pulă. That is in romanian from what I have learned which basically means I feel pain in my dick
- That's the most vulgar of the many variations. The others are "mă doare în cot / în cur / în pix / în șpiț / în bigă" (hurts in my elbow / butt / pen, not sure what the last two actually mean).
  Edit: just remembered another one: "mă doare la bască" (my cap hurts)

"I have it up my ass" (Polish).
- I thought about “mam wyjebane” but no idea how do I explain that

French Canadian: To chalice oneself
"Je m'en caliss"
- J'm'en tabarnak
  Elvis Gratton
  RIP Julien Poulin
- Tout le monde parle de bite, de marde et de cul, pis nous on est sur des objets de l'église catholique. Faudrait actualiser tout ça. Je propose "J'men passe une crosse" en hommage au battage de couilles de nos cousins français. "J'men pète les gosses" ou "rien a chier" pourrait faire aussi.
  
  On utilise quand même "Je m'en fout" aussi

n. I couldn't give a flying fuck (English English)
n+1. Ah couldnae gi a flyin' fuck (Scottish)
- I don't give a rat's ass!

Rare french w
- I would expect the French to win at swearing, but they're only taking bronze on this one.
  
  For me its 2nd place

My dick hurts (Bosnian, Serbian, Croatian)
- Bulgarian as well, but that the dick "doesn't" hurt is implied. I assume it's the same for you?

Swearing in Greece and across most of the whole region is hilarious. The actual "I don't care"/"zero fucks given" phrase is to write something on your balls or dick.
So many sayings are mother/whore/balls/dick based - not offensive phrases, just common sayings.

I Brazilian portuguese that would be "Caguei" -> I took a shit
- There's also "to pouco me fudendo" -> I'm barely fucking myself
  
  Essa é boa kkkkkk

It sucks me (as in fellatio) an egg (testicle).
It sucks my dick.
I care a crow's nest (as in ships)
I care a turd.
I care a shit.
(Spanish again, we are creative people, as someone pointed out, the New World is way more colorful than Spain)

Geez, the Greeks are a surly bunch.
- I said worse things before... Reply if you're curious
  
  I'm curious.

It naps on my dick. (Bulgaria)

"I shit on it!" ("Szarok rá!") - in Hungarian.
Besides that just "I don't care." ("Nem érdekel.")
Maybe "Not even the dog cares, who lives in/at the shooting range." ("Lőtéri kutyát nem érdekli.") But it's more like for situations where you want to express, that nobody cares.

Somehow, the German and Spanish versions just aren't vulgar enough.
- We have more vulgar options in German if you need them:
  Es geht mir am Arsch vorbei (It walks past my ass)
  Es ist mir scheißegal (It's shit-equal to me)
  but we also have less vulgar options:
  Es ist mir Jacke wie Hose (It's as Jacket as Pants to me)
  Es interessiert mich nicht die Bohne (It interests me less than a bean)
  There are dozens more options. I assume it's the same in Spanish.
  
  Now that's the kind of language I expect.
- Also Spanish has the more common "me importa una mierda" (I care shit about it).
  Or "me la suda" (it sweats 'it' to me, it being your dick), or "me la pela" (it peels 'it' to me - a reference to a hand job).
- In German, there's another - not as vulgar, but a personal attack. This is not a comment on a thing or action, but a reply to a story or something someone has said.
  "Where's the bus?"
  The storyteller might be confused and ask: "which bus?"
  "The bus with people who care"
  
  Never heard of that. Is that a regional thing?

"My dick hurts" (Bosnian)

Nr. 2 is awkward for people wanting to use manure on plants...

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