Problem solved.

88 comments

I hate so say it, but you should grab Michigan and Wisconsin. Much like a girl I used to know: We can fix her, and she has huge lakes that I find appealing. Or something like that.
- Isn't Wisconsin like a cold version of Alabama?
  
  Yeah, it sucks. But Look at that map. Those lakes are fairly important. Well either that or do a Robert Evans plan and just nuke them.

I think I speak for all Georgians when I say please include us too (I definitely do not)
- I wonder if they could somehow carve out a thin path down to Atlanta and include us. Pls.

On behalf of California, we accept this proposal, and we accept Canada as our new federal government.
I also propose we officially refer to the remainder of the US as "Dumbfuckistan".

Can someone ask r/askconservatives how they feel about this plan?

Australia can come too. THE END!
Edit for the young ones: this is older than YouTube. It was a flash animation which was like a 2d game engine that ran in-game cutscenes in your web browser because that worked on slower internet speeds than video.

Also: why not give Texas back to Mexico? It'd solve their obsession with "the border problem."
- Because Mexico already has enough problems without having to deal with Texans?
  
  But think of all the oil they could sell to the US!

Solving the problem is dissolving all borders so the working class isn't divided into easily managed nation states.

Excuse me but that incorporation of California, Oregon, Washington and British Columbia gets in the way of the glorious Long Chile Project. We shall be having words.
(By all means do take MN, CT and WDC tho.)

You move that gods damned line to include Michigan. Right fucking now.
- The entirety of Michigan? Or should the Upper Peninsula stay a part of the US?
  
  /c/CartographyAnarchy is leaking
- Nope. Move to a real blue state if you wanna come. MI has betrayed us too many times. We don't need that in New Canada.
- You guys decided to vote for the fascist.
  
  So did Minnesota.
- Michigan is a red state though.

Cut out eastern Oregon, they want to be part of Idaho anyway.

Trump: Fine, they can have California for all I care.
Advisors: Sir, if California were its own country it would be the world's 6th largest economy.
Trump: How about if we just send all the Mexicans there with some beautiful rakes?
- 5th largest
- They are already here. Who the fuck you think does the farming?

Nooo, take Michigan, too!

Colorado
- You can have islands that belong to countries, why not land locked enclaves! (Yes I under logistics and such)
- You re-elected Boebert.
  
  I'd be willing to leave eastern Colorado behind.
- man Colorado is an unfortunate one in this case. =(

Why would I want to join Canada???? I don't do well in the cold smh my head
- -Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).
  -Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).
  -Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).
  -Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.
  -Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.
  -You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.
  -Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.
  -Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).
  -The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.
  and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).
  (We couldn't find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)
  
  How are you now ✋
  
  Imagine how much worse all of those statistics will get once they absorb large chunks of the US!

WI and MI want in on that, for sure
Well, MI at least
- As somebody from Wisconsin I will say that I don't approve of us being excluded, but I also can't blame them.
  
  I’d include you
- MI voted for the orange bad man so... no...
  
  I can tell you that a large part of that was as a spite non-vote against Harris due to her not speaking up against Israel. Less about supporting Agent Orange, and more about not supporting the genocide of Palestinians by the very large arab and Muslim population in SE Michigan.

Lol I love how New Hampshire is just left out. Now how am I gonna get my New Hampshire clam chowder?
- Yeah, what the fuck? Take us with you.

If you go by recent province/state wide election results:
Alberta, Saskatchewan and probably Manitoba go to Jesusland.
... And Colorado and New Mexico, and Illinois become exclaves like Kaliningrad.
CO+NM is exceptionally fucked because its landlocked, and almost in a Lesotho situation (being wholly surrounded by a single other country) were it not for Mexico...
Though I guess Illinois would not be much better off as Jesusland would likely claim it owns all of Lake Michigan beyond 50 miles of Illinois' shore.
And Virginia actually went for Harris, so that's also part the United States of Canada.
- Colorado and NM should totally join Mexico, they'd be better off there
  
  As a New Mexican, at this point, I'd be down.

ITT: People pretending that Oregon, Michigan, and probably Washington don't have a huge population of total fuckos.
Carve a line down the coasts. You don't want the whole state. And while you're at it, take the lakes and Chicago
- We had to accept Oregon in order to draw a line down to California. We sure as FUCK aren't accepting Idaho.
- Canada also has its own population of total fucks. We keep them in the prairies. However like those states, it might be leaning more towards wanting that?
  Disclaimer: not a source, just an ass on the internet.
- How about sky bridges between fortified independent city state enclaves?
- Yeah, East side of the cascades in OR and WA is extremely conservative. But they are currently hopelessly outnumbered.
- Eastern Washington people have been wanting to separate from Western Washington for a really long time. Western Washington is like "well fuckin do it." But nobody actually tries to secede because EW's dependent on WW's economy.
  
  Exactly. Canada should only take the west half.

The question is, would Canada want that? I get the feeling that most of us living north of the border just want to be left alone and we would send you all the thoughts and prayers we could spare and wish you all the best so long as you let us be.
- Yes, they absolutely want it - minus the dumb fuck part of Canada (is that Alberta?) - west coast and north east USA are highly educated, powerhouses in industry, and basically pay for the welfare queen red states. It's so fucking crazy how the east coast and west coast are held hostage by all that land in the red states
  
  OK, Alberta becomes part of America.

Include Colorado and Hawaii.
- We'll need a tunnel from Denver to LA.
  
  Airplanes. Flyover states will still be flyover states.

Seriously, why isn't the Canadian government offering US states to join them? It would be the perfect response to Trumps bullshit.
You want Canada to submit to the US? Hey Oregon, California, and the others, wanna join us instead?
If California leaves the US it would fucking bankrupt the US.
- America has already proven it's willing to go to war to keep territory, Canada doesn't want that fight.
  
  ~~keep~~ steal territory
  FTFY

Congratulations you just gave the fundamentalist nutters all the icbm silos.
- Yeah, uh, they already have them.
  Plus there's tons in the listed areas?
  
  Nope

Is the US losing just about all of the top universities in this "trade"?
- Losing CA alone would make the US possibly not even a world power. NY and CA gone, the US Would be a thing no one really has a reason to think of talk about. Suddenly all the movies would be about aliens landing on Canada or blowing up Canadian national landmarks.
  
  Didn't a group of separatists already try this in the 1800's?
  How did that turn out?

Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I'll also throw in Hawaii for free.
- Having Arizona would be a big L for Canada
  
  You'd have to create a corridor through Southern Idaho and Northern Utah to join the new state of "New Mexirado" with the rest if you removed Arizona... Hard work, but I believe it could be done.
- Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.
  
  Eastern Oregon is already trying to join Idaho anyway
  
  Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do
  Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.
- Get Virginia too!
  
  Fuck that bougie ass state. Entirely occupied by weapons contractors. Leave them in New Honkia
- Y'all are going to regret taking Arizona. And, frankly, everything in California not in view of the coast.