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  • The forgetting everything I took the time to explain even after “dumbing it down” to the simplest terms. Can’t blame them too much as it’s age related, but frustrating nonetheless.

    Refusal to use a password manager. They write down the passwords plaintext in a physical pad. Not awful, all things considered, but then write down the password alphabetically without maintaining consistency in naming. Say it’s a password for a streaming service on a Sony TV. It might be under Sony, TV, or the name of the service; and all three titles might be entered in the pad because they couldn’t remember what they’d written it down under the first time. Then had to reset it and wrote it down under something else. So now you have passwords for TV, Sony, and Service, guess which one is right? Heaven help you if there’s more than one Sony TV in the house or something. At least the password managers go by website and a user created name so you have two chances of finding it.

    When offering help over the phone they click or tap the wrong thing that leads to an incorrect page or menu, swearing they did it right, and being unable to locate the thing I’m telling them to look for after I led them step-by-step to the correct solution. This one’s pretty infuriating when many menus look the same and my questions about what they’re looking at only gets generic enough responses that I think they’re in the right place. It’s often only corrected when I ask them to take a pic with their phone and send it to me so I can figure out how they f’d up. I ended up installing remote desktop apps on their computers eventually so I could just do the work myself, quickly, with far less fuss.

  • My mother is very smart. She knows her shit, but her shit does not include tech anything, which, unfortunately, makes her obviously afraid of it. She claims otherwise, but it's true. If anything goes wrong once, it will forever be that way to her. She's also incredibly stubborn.

    To touch on that last point, she went through her advanced schooling in the 60s, at a time when typing was apparently taught at universities. Her professor made one comment about the women in the room going on to be secretaries, which my mom has clinged to, like so many other things, and now spitefully refuses to learn how to type properly.

    I've shown her every single time I touch her laptop how to scroll through sites using two fingers on the touch pad. Nope, she must very slowly, squinting, find the tiny, hidden scroll bar, and, even more slowly, drag it down.

    Her ability to read seems to completely disappear as soon as she turns on her computer or looks at her phone. After over a decade of holding her hand to do super basic things, the answers to which are almost always found by reading and comprehending, I made it a point to not outright tell her what to do if it's plainly obvious anymore. She still tries to get me to do it for her by staring at the screen for a moment and then looking at me like she's completely lost, or asking in the most annoyed way possible what to do, when the only options are click OK or... nothing.

    "How do I do (x)?" Where (x) is something like opening Firefox from the desktop, going back to her browser-based email from a different tab, etc.

    "You know how. You've done it several times before."

    "That doesn't mean I remember how!" While actively doing the thing.

    And the gestures - dismissive hand waving at the screen whenever something mildly inconvenient appears, the annoyed sighs, all of it.

  • "C'mon you guys! There it is right in front of you the whole time. You're dereferencing a null pointer! Open your eyes!"

  • While helping my mother troubleshoot her phone:

    I can't do anything because the keyboard keeps going away

    Everything I click on tries to take me to WalMart

    It keeps saying the phone is overheating but it's not overheating, should I download this program it's recommending?

    No! I didn't download anything! I don't download things! Wait... Is the app store considered "downloading"?

    I can keep going lol

  • My mom called me a few years ago, after she clicked the big red warning message in a pop up. After the nice tech support man got on her phone. After she let him install "some program". Then she thought, maybe she should check with Perish. Yikes.

  • My father is an engineer, which has its ups and downs. He can definitely be trusted to read a dialog box and nearly 100% of the time even understand what it says. Abstract concepts, problems he's never encountered before, all generally no issue.

    My stepmother, however, once asked me if she needs to rewind a DVD before putting it away. We've been working on it with her over the years. She's certainly better now, but she still has an acute case of just randomly clicking on things without reading them.

    • My stepmother, however, once asked me if she needs to rewind a DVD before putting it away.

      record scratch

      …come again?

      • It makes total sense if you're of the generation(s) whose brains were fucked up by the American public education system pre-1980 or so, and were never taught how to understand abstract concepts nor any critical thinking skills. They learned everything by rote recitation.

        Everything.

        FYI, this is probably in no small part why your parents struggle with technology or at the very least anything with an on-screen user interface so much.

        Up until then, "thing you stick in machine that plays movies" inevitably involved some manner of tape. I imagine the majority of the public has absolutely no idea nor any interest in how this actually works inside the machine; as far as they're concerned it's either magic or complicated nerd technology stuff that they have convinced themselves that they'll never understand. It was just hammered into them that When Done With Movie You Must Rewind (or else mom/dad/the video store will get mad at you). However, no logical connection is made between the medium in question and the act of rewinding. Merely that it is a movie thing. Movie things get rewound.

        I'm sure this is also why a particular generation insists on calling Nintendo cartridges "tapes."

  • I've got a stubborn father. Years ago, back when our old family computer was working and was something we actually used, all I wanted to do was remove a simple toolbar from the single web browser we all used that might have been caused by a virus (probably caused by me being dumb) and uninstall something that caused it (also probably caused by my idiocy). This was around 2019.

    The problem was my parents didn't want me on it all night so they had something like an admin password, but I figured it out long before this because they wrote it down in a notebook. The other problem is they didn't know I knew the password, so I didn't wanna let them know I knew it. Also, with the computer being in the living room, I couldn't just fix this at any point because my parents (at least one of them) were usually in the living room at any given time besides at night.

    In the end, it pretty much devolved into me telling my father that I'm just trying to remove something that could actively harm our PC, but he refused to let me do it. Don't know if it was because he didn't wanna type the password or what, but it was a short shit show... until he finally relented and for a measly few seconds he had to enter a password instead of spending minutes fighting me on this.

  • My Dad will ask me to help him with a tech issue then, because he spent 20-odd years doing spreadsheets and databases, he will decide that he knows more about the thing he's just asked me for help with so I don't help him anymore.

    Most notably, when he was having issues with his video editing and I was doing a couple things with his export settings (we had a few classes about video editing in college- photography major) and half way through he decided I was wrong and the way he was doing it was best. The videos are now huge and unwieldy when they're only going up on YouTube. 🙃

  • Recently had to help my mom figure out her new internet setup. She wanted to keep her old phone number but it was not carried over to the new provider. My guess is she said that she wanted to keep it while ordering the new one but never followed any of the steps they gave her to make that work. So we called them and it was crazy how she was unable to explain to them what her current situation is and what needs to be fixed. Claiming that "nothing works" even though the internet works just fine and the only problem is the phone number. Also not really looking at the emails they send her and following the steps to activate the online service center where she could manage this stuff on her own.

    Later I showed her that the laptop she got from work is able to connect to her new router wirelessly and does not have to be connected via cable. She already uses another laptop and her phone over wifi. Apparently she just has no interest in understanding how any of the internet systems work.

  • Painful would be the several (!) times I had to check the computer over after they fell for a tech help scam and lost money. The stupid thing was that if someone tried to sell them something on the street or phone they were smart enough to refuse, but for some reason a popup on the computer makes things legit. Even after it was a scam the last time it happened. Why?

    There are many more lesser events that aren't painful as much as just tedious, but I think having some patience and knowing what to tell them (vs. actually explaining it) helped. I tried to reduce the complexity and lock things down, but in the end it was just easier to come over and fix the problem every now and then.

149 comments