4d ago

One of the terrible things about having a close friend or relative die is that it is a subtle reminder that you've moved up in the line towards the end.

I just lost two close relatives who were also friends today. We grew up as kids and they were about a year or two older than me. I've always been aware of death and accept it but when stuff like this happens, it's a really strong reminder of how we're all moving along in the line towards the end.

25 comments

Every day, every second. You’re always moving closer to the exit. It’s a scary thought, so most prefer not to think about it.
- Our death is us joining oblivion. That's scary to think about until you realize you were in oblivion before you were born. I have no negative view of my non-existence prior to my birth. Death will be just like that so why should I have a problem with it.
  Knowing we die someday gives life meaning.
  Further, the alternative to death is living forever. Now THAT sounds like hell.
- I find it freeing. It places limits on the responsibilities of a mortal.
- It inspires one to investigate religion, psychedelics and meditation. They say it sheds light on the subject.

Over the last 13 years or so my entire family have died of everything from cancer to suicide. I'm the youngest, and I'm at the front of the line. Life is short, don't waste time.
- My sister was with my mom when she passed. Mom was 76 years of age and my sister told us all that mom's last words were just a realization and surprise at realizing just how quickly life goes by. It's made me think about my life ever since ... death is no closer or further to us than this very moment. Everything happens in a moment and it is over.
  You are right ... live life now, there is no time to waste.

...nothing wrong with dying; when you die it's not your problem anymore...
...problems are for the folks left behind...
- Same with being stupid. You are not aware of it but its everyones elses problem.

I used to be scared of death until I got tired of life. I wouldn't want to kill myself, but when I do die, I'll be glad the suffering is over.
- You say that now but hopefully you will finally find happiness in life. The problem is shortly after you decide you want to live you will start dying.
- Not to sound edgy, but other than suffering in the process of dying, I'm pretty cool with my upcoming death
  I really appreciate this new-to-me quote ascribed to Frida Kahlo: I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return

My best friend who was younger than me died 2 years ago in her mid 30s. She was an alcoholic so didn't exactly take the best care of herself. I don't have any substance abuse issues but still don't make the best choices for my health. I don't exercise much and my diet is frankly horrific. Thinking about her death in this light has made me think that I really do need to get my shir together. Thanks friend.
- I've had a few friends my age go that way as well. I think I've outlived about six of them at this point. Every single one is a reminder to me to take better care of myself and do more for those around me. We can't let them die in vain ... we can at least honour their memory by doing something for ourselves. It's not a selfish act either ... the better we take care of ourselves, the more capable we will be to help others.

Another terrible death related thing: after a while, sometimes after bad news you’ll think “I’m glad [person] didn’t have to live to see this.”
- This thought comes to me alot: my mum passed relatively early and my grandfather shortly after that.
  I'd not want either to have had to experience what this world has become

No deaths of close relatives basically forever then suddenly 3 close ones dead inside 2 years (in the vicinity of the recent calamity) (all for causes apparently unrelated to covid, if you're wondering, for whatever such statements are worth). Life has become sciencefictiony.

I'm attending the second funeral in as many weeks this weekend for very close childhood friends, and the thing that's getting me is the grief of losing not just those friends, but loss and realization that I'm not even who I was when I knew them anymore
Like I'm kind of choking up now just thinking about it.
It's been a rough month.
- I won't be attending any funerals because everyone is all separated and split off to different parts of the province. But my generation of family is a huge community of first cousins and we all grew up together as kids and teenagers. We're all within about a 7 / 8 year gap and we were close and knew one another - there was about 30 of us all together - our grandparents had huge families and then their children had huge families. Everyone grew up became adults with their own lives and we all went our own ways with about half staying home.
  Whatever the situation ... it's a huge heartbreak for everyone including myself. It feels bad, it doesn't feel good and there's nothing you can do about it. You accept it ... but it still doesn't feel good.
  I feel your pain because I'm going through the same thing. I don't know what to say other than to reach out to those that were part of your circle that knew everyone and to be with your loved ones.
  
  I get they different people has different cultural ways but I think it would mean a lot of you came to a funeral just support your family members. It is highly respectable and could mean a lot to those impacted the most.