7d ago

Anon is worried about men

696 comments

Let me offer a scenario; two drunk people who wouldn't normally go near each other spend a night together. The morning comes, regret is in the air for both parties, which of these two people is most at risk?
The correct answer is: "the one who doesn't accuse the other on social media".
Just remember, no-one gave any indication of gender there. It's not really about gender at this point - it's the fact we've constructed a world where a casual encounter has the potential to become the prisoner's dilemma if it is regretted afterwards.
That's not a world where people take risks on a date, especially if physical intimacy is on the cards. To much risk!
- Yea, honestly, as a feminist, I think this is reasonable and healthy. How many long term relationships really result from drunken hookups? It's just an exercise in risky behavior with a complete stranger when your judgement is impaired.
  
  I mean, build on that idea a little further.
  Sex is an extreme example, but now consider the cases of opening up a bit; showing emotional vulnerability; taking that first step of trust; telling that special someone you actually do love to play with Lego.
  All of these carry the same risks for all involved - the social ramifications of a failed attempt to bond is somewhat higher than in our current "clout hunting" era (remember, clout doesn't just exist online).
  Relationships are complex critters - some are built on risk, some are built on the aversion of such, and some are built upon a complex dance between the two (for what is life but a twistedly beautiful lottery)?
  
  I can't really tell what your argument is here. Are you arguing that people substitute social media interactions for real life connection? And that they get enough from social media to not think vulnerability is worth it?
  I guess I can agree to that in some general way for novices to social media (people like me in 2007 or young kids now), but in my generation I've observed people valuing it less as we age. Once you mature, if you mature, you can judge your own lack of fulfillment from hours spent on social media.
- Are you aware that pregnancy exists?
  
  So does birth control, what’s your point?
  
  Pregnancy is a risk that is ignored by op. The risks associated with hormonal birth control are also ignored. The fuckwit above is assuming birth control because they live in a modern western context, they ignore the fact that birth control is a privilege. A casual encounter has aways been a massive risk for women.
  
  Language kid.
  If you get drunk, hook up with another drunk person, and end up pregnant, who exactly is to blame? Your life choices are hardly stellar (nor are theirs); you can argue they should have known better, but so should you.
  That ship on that blame has long since sailed. It sailed by the night before when you were both laying your regrets.
  Risk now comes from your choices and theirs, and oh my won't that be fun?
  
  That’s why vasectomies are great ✂️

696 comments