colosaur

Dam i thought it was 45

I’m only 32. Is it really that early?
- Oh I had my first one earlier than that!
  (Don't do PhDs, people)
  
  seated 18hrs a day?
  
  Was your PhD in Proctology and you were on the other end?

Fuck you, I've still got 7 or 8 years left.

Hey OP, did you know that the voice of Ducky was a little girl named Judith Barsi? Did you know that Judith also voiced the little girl character, Anne-Marie, in All Dog Go To Heaven? And did you know that Judith Barsi was brutally murdered along with her mother by her father who then killed himself? And did you know that this murder happened between her lines being recorded and the release of either of these films? So when you fell in love with a little duck billed dinosaur saying "Yepyepyep" and a little orphan girl who talks to animals, you were listening to the echos of a voice of a murdered 10 year old girl.
Why did I bring this up, OP? Because you made me sad, so I'mma make you sad too.
RIP Judith
- Wtf dude, I could have gone my whole life not knowing this. I hope your socks get wet.
  
  Oh for fucks sake just kill them, no need to be unduly mean about it and pull unforgivable acts of torture.
- Damn the post calls people old and they need to see a doctor for butt stuff. And this response is to horrify and amaze.
  
  “How dare this stranger bring up my slightly advanced age! Here’s a child that was brutally murdered. Now we’re even!”
- Even more fun, she was sexually assaulted by her father multiple times. Police were involved because of the constant abuse. It fucked with her psychologically, and her mother kept hesitating to take action
  
  We go on and on about stranger danger, but family is where the danger is at 99% of the time and kids aren't taught about this nearly enough.
- OP didn't mean to make us sad :(
- Goddamn.
  I respect the brutality, if nothing else
- What a tasteless comment.
  
  🫡

If she doesn’t fuck with little foot then she’s too young for you

Jokes on you, I'm 40 and I've had 5 of them already.
- High risk or just like the experience?
  
  Colon Cancer runs in my family. I also have digestive illnesses that predispose me to colon cancer. So every 5 years since age 20.
  
  I'm 43 and I've had one.
  Bloody stool so got checked out. Was nothing.

No tf it is not lol, I'm still in college
- You can be in college and still be over 40.
  
  Doctors HATE this one SIMPLE TRICK!

Goddammit so true...I just had my first colonoscopy today 😬

What did I do to you to deserve this aggression on such a nice morning?
- OP is just looking after your health is all

For anyone wondering, this is the rain scene from Sausage Party (2016) when the chocolate eclair tries weed for the first time.
- Get out of here you lying heathen!

I don’t need one for well over 10 years. This movie ain’t that old (released 1988)
- (released 1988)
  TIL kid me was enjoying ancient movies
- Everyone knows you can only watch a movie on release and never after that point.
  
  Even then, it’s only 36 years old! Most people don’t get their colonoscopy until they’re 45 or 50. 40 if they’re more at risk.

Just FYI for anyone that is wondering about colonoscopies:
The American Cancer Society recommends that people at average risk of colorectal cancer start regular screening at age 45.
…the disease is rising sharply in people under age 50, most of whom are years away from getting their first screening
So get a colonoscopy. Got mine at 45, it was absolutely NBD. They give good knockout drugs if you like, you have a nice nap and that’s it. Even the laxative is a non-event (I got a doc that prescribed miralax and sports drink combo, some of the prescribed liquids are gross) and was super easy. The worst thing about it was being hungry and wanting a cup of coffee because you can’t eat before the procedure.
- Tried to get one at 42 - they required a cola-guard screening first. Requested a cola-guard screening and insurance didn't cover it until 45. Tried to manually buy one - couple thousand dollars. So basically you can't start getting screened until 45.
  
  #Murica
  
  #insurancewin
  That sucks. If you have any family history of polyps or colon cancer it might be worth trying again specifically mentioning those things if you have that option.

Yep, yep, RIP

Until now, it has been before time.

You're not my dad!
- Because he died of colon cancer!

I literally confirmed a colonoscopy appointment 30 min ago and then see this on Lemmy.
What the hell?

The 90s was really out here making us hungry for dang leaf. I'm not too proud to say I tried it, it was gross.

Sharptooth!

I'm 18 :( I dont want a colonoscopy
- it's fine, just don't grow older
  
  This is the way
- You might want to double check your age then. You might be old and just not know it. You can probably buy kids beer now if you wanted to.
  
  I've been able to buy beer for 2 years 💪😎

I'm 34. I don't think I need to schedule one yet, I'm not particularly high risk family history-wise. But I'm worried about scheduling it when the time comes.
That doctor gonna know I'm a bottom, and that's gonna be embarrassing.
- "Damn, my finger slid right in, what are you, some kind of little butt slut" - your doctor, probably
  
  I'm imagining it like some sort of vaudeville slapstick skit, wherein the doctor just keeps pulling things out, starting like dice and a neckerchief, and ending with an entire clown car full of clowns