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Any analaysis or discussion about the mechanisms of conspiracy theories that does not include carbrain is worthless

There is an incredible amount of conspiracy theories surrounding cars and whenever the discussion or analysis of how in gods name did we get to so many people believing in them so many smart people do a lot of thinking and just entirely blank what, to me, is the most obvious entrypoint for this sort of thing.

I'm not talking about the crank shit that is also car, like the idea that the jewish lizard people are hiding the water based engine that can drive around the earth on 500ml of liquid here, but the explicitly carbrained ones that never seem to be called out as conspiracy theories despite hitting all the marks.

How many people do you know that think whatever the authority on traffic light timings is just making them bad on purpose to annoy every car driver? Like there's a big red "make car traffic flow good" button in the central control unit everybody involved just refuses to press or even talk about despite literally every document around this topic clearly lining out how they're optimizing all this shit for optimal car throughput at every turn?

The idea that there isn't enough parking that goes full steam into being aggrieved about not being able to park in the 4th dimension because you can't park 5 cars directly infront of a storefront that's about one car wide and somehow this is again the doing of the shadowy cabal that runs the municipality to annoy every car driver.

The idea that for some unbeknownst reason every western government is in cahoots to build roads like shit so they deterioate within a year or two, on purpose, to...annoy car drivers, again.

The idea that one more lane will fix it, where there is a magic solution to congestion, despite that having never worked, decades of scientific evidence that it doesn't and also again begs the question as how do you figure every level of government everywhere just refuses to do the one magic thing that fixes it all.

Your average carbrain sits at a traffic light, see's people go the other way and figures the government is gangstalking him, specifically. The reasons entirely unclear, but some sort of entity out there is dead set on making you miserable by making you wait. That's the common thread here, it's being annoyed and then figuring out this is targeting you, specifically, completely ignoring how much the built enviroment you're using is made to serve the cars despite all the very much published evidence around it and instead believing there's some conspiracy going on that hides the magic solution that would make it all better. It's all conspiracy theories, except enough people believe in them that it's just mainstream politics now. Wonder where else we might find this phenomenon.

25 comments
  • How many people do you know that think whatever the authority on traffic light timings is just making them bad on purpose to annoy every car driver?

    This one is true through, Mr Traffic Light is a comrade who is trying to destroy our car based society and replace it with robust public transport.

  • How many people do you know that think whatever the authority on traffic light timings is just making them bad on purpose to annoy every car driver?

    tbh this did happen near me with a new light on some shitty high-traffic stroad but obviously it was fixed within 3-4 days and then it was just regular (bad) traffic instead of insanely bad traffic

    most of these "conspiracies" are based in something but people are just too alienated from everything to make connections beyond just "government make my car-driving bad". like the western governments making roads bad on purpose - it's because they contract it out to shitty EPCs to build the road on the lowest budget but somehow it is purposeful instead of just capitalist municipality doing capitalism stuff.

    • tbh this did happen near me with a new light on some shitty high-traffic stroad but obviously it was fixed within 3-4 days and then it was just regular (bad) traffic instead of insanely bad traffic

      wake up sheeple they just did this to placate you. they've pressed the big salmon "make car traffic slightly better" button so they don't have to press the red one

      most of these "conspiracies" are based in something but people are just too alienated from everything to make connections beyond just "government make my car-driving bad". like the western governments making roads bad on purpose - it's because they contract it out to shitty EPCs to build the road on the lowest budget but somehow it is purposeful instead of just capitalist municipality doing capitalism stuff.

      I think most conspiracies are based in something and then just going into odd directions with it, barring some of the really crank shit or the idiosyncretic stuff like the timecube or the pepsi logo design charta.

      Also roads keep being used more and by heavier vehicles due to population and car growth and road wear scales on the 4th potency with axle weight. The 1955 Chevy Bel Air was apparently the most popular car back then and that clocks in at 1,6 tons. Sure theoretically you could build everything to like highway standards, except of course you can't unless your entire nations project is to built good roads and have literally no economy or services since all the money's used up. Everywhere is basically bankrupting themselves on the current standard already.

25 comments