Anyone else

I have this fantasy often. Aliens come in, and are like

"Whilst we find the creative potential of your species commendable, the Gini Coefficient of your Planet is too high for you to join our Federation. Please rectify."

And then every month they just post the names and active addresses of all the wealthiest people on the planet, until the Gini Index goes down. The implementation of this transition is left as an exercise to the reader.

I’ve seen too many alien-themed horror movies to buy into the “aliens are gonna be Vulcans” trope. I think it’s more likely that we see one of many variations on the “aliens are unknowable horrifying parasites that will consume/transform all life on the planet to suit themselves.”
- I live in the hope that they're so evolved that they literally need nothing from us, and just want to preserve the ants nest of humanity as an anthropological curiosity
- If a civilization that has mastered FTL shows up we are fucked. The best odds for survival are jumping to their side because they could destroy us easily. Maybe we'll get lucky and it will be a civilization of space amazons who want to use us for sex stuff.

If we get invaded by aliens, I'm immediately defecating.

No shit
- yes shit
Good thinking. The probe goes in easier when you empty you bowels.
I see what you did there
Should have worn the brown pants.

The aliens:

Interstellar bootlicking

Yep I'm defecting. A third of my own countrymen hate me, so fuck 'em. Gimme the alien tech.

After the pandemic, Im so done with half this country.
- I get what you're trying to say but its not half. Republican turnout has always been higher than leftist turnout. Its probably a third. Thats still a third too high though I know.

The same for the rise of the machines

@LadyButterfly aliens will not invading us. They buy popcorn and watching how we kill each other.

Sad but true

@LadyButterfly I have said it for at least six years. Aliens, demons, Lovecraftian dark deities... I would pick their side in case of invasion because I have seen human society long enough (and it was BEFORE events from last years).

TO SERVE MAN

Ye Wenjie is that you?

book two: do not make a peep, never let anyone in the universe know you exist
spoilers:
book three: we made a group chat with all the intelligent life in the universe, wanna hit restart a fuck up s new universe with multiple time dimensions?

If we ever get invaded by aliens, we'll just be their lab rats. They won't enslave us, because not efficient. They ain't here for our resources, that's the lamest thing to do. They ain't coming here to erase us from existence, because the universe is mostly void, so our existence doesn't matter to them, we occupy insignificant space in that.

Lots of assumptions there, let's hope if it ever happens that they are less douchebags that we are
They might want the resources of earth.
There is also a chance they might want to hunt and/or rape us for the fun of it.
- Nothing material on earth you can't find everywhere else, the only things we have that aren't incredibly plentiful elsewhere are earths unique biology and human culture. Both of which can also be obtained without us ever knowing about it. The only logical reason to invade is ideological so if we ever meet hostile aliens they're either genocidal zealots or a bunch of sadists.

As a warhammer 40k enthusiast i have to hard pass. Space fascism, while entertaining in fantasy, is kind of very disgusting.

Arent the space fascists human, though?
- Pretty sure it's space fascist all the way down. There are no good guys in the 40k universe
- Yes but also the other comment. WH40K is full of different breeds of god damn awful. All of them pretty fashy.
Lol, so you're not siding with the humans then. At least some of the aliens aren't space fascists....
- The post is talking about siding with invading aliens because "humans bad". I said, i am not so sure about it, might be fascists. Now you tell me some aliens from 40k are not fascists which is all stuff not contradicting each other.
  Id still consider it pretty bad to unconditionally support invaders as invading seems pretty fash to me.

Can't wait for the events of half-life 2 to happen, huh?

Rob badly wants to become a Combine stalker it seems. Hey, you do you, Rob.

I'm just here for the discounts on probing.

Gonna act like I’m not an agent of Slaanesh. Go Xenos! ❤️

Aliens: Sorry but we don't need anybody for... whatever it is you do. Now get in the mass harvester.

Isn’t that basically the plot of The X-Files?

And Three Body Problem

Wait. That's treason.

Let's hope for a long fight... If humanity has an external enemy, we would focus on killing them instead of killing each other.

Look at the history of colonization.
The French and British both allied with Native tribes in America who already hated each other.
It's Exploitation 101. Offer superior weapons to the weakest group in any area and watch them do all your killing for you. Even better, they can never say anything to you, because now their old enemies hate them even more.
Yep, black and white would team together to batter green. It'll literally take that though

Spaliens

nah humans would win

Probably not. Just being capable of interstellar spaceflight opens up some really nice ways to kill a lot of people, such as redirecting asteroids. Or just drop nuclear bombs from orbit. Nothing we could do. Also, what if the aliens show up with more soldiers than we have people?
- For all we know they already fired a death laser that we'll never know until we're dead.
- such as redirecting asteroids. Or just drop nuclear bombs from orbit
  i mean we could totally do that, if you gave space programs a few trillion (which is the level of funding an alien invasion would cause) we could probably move asteroids within a decade
  and we already can move asteroids, just not much
Can confirm. I played thousands of hours of Destiny, Call of Duty, and Halo. I think my KD is like 3.5 with bots, but 0.22 with humans. So aliens, probably in the middle.
Guys I'm ready to be a hero.

How nice! I’m sure they’ll let him live as their obedient dog

watch space aliens who gave up nukes get demolished.

Odds are that any aliens sufficiently advanced to come here would be able to tell we have nuclear weapons.