I have tried getting high quite a few times now with different products and it always ends the same, poorly. Advice?

I just wanted to relax. But instead, I begin to experience extremely unpleasant sensations. First is the pins and needles sensation, it's everywhere, starts in the back of my throat and then travels all over my body. It sucks! Then I expect that the next part is from being far too high, despite only a few drags or the recommended dose of the edible. I think it's paranoia but I start to believe that I lived someone else's life (whomever is in the room talking to me) before this one and I know what they're about to say because I have said it. Or that I'm the center of the universe and so on. As if that's not bad enough, it becomes impossible for me to understand time, 5 minutes feels like an hour or more, and then it's just me reassuring myself or getting someone to talk me down until I can function. It's stressful as fuck and very disorienting. I don't know if I want to risk that again but I was really hoping for a fun little escape from reality and chronic pain and depression. Maybe even a few giggles as I watch cartoons or whatever, something more fun than this! I am at a point where I think that this just isn't for me.