Does anyone wish they had a pet but also know that taking care of a pet is too much executive functioning for them right now?

Definitely second animal rescues.

For the most part, they just let you take the dogs (probably depends on location). Go for a walk, have a good time, the dog is happy, you're happy, and it actually helps the shelter.

Also, some people can get attached to houseplants like pets, if you're one of them, plants are a bit lazy but they're very good at learning "stay", and different varieties basically have different personalities.