1y ago

‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps

www.theguardian.com ‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps

For a decade, apps have dominated dating. But now singles are growing tired of swiping and are looking for new ways to meet people – or reverting to old ones

‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps::For a decade, apps have dominated dating. But now singles are growing tired of swiping and are looking for new ways to meet people – or reverting to old ones

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1y ago

'It's quite soul-destroying': how we fell out of love with dating apps

www.theguardian.com /lifeandstyle/2023/oct/28/its-quite-soul-destroying-how-we-fell-out-of-love-with-dating-apps

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The apps served a purpose. They raised the available pool of possible dates from "who's in this bar with me right now" to "everyone in a 10 mile radius" or whatever, and everyone is there for the same reason, mostly.
But it also doesn't have to be all or nothing. It shouldn't be. Use an app you like and also go to in-person dating events. Just use apps if that's your speed. Fuck the apps and go out there and meet people at the local cafe, or board game night, or beer league softball, or whatever. It can augment the old ways. It doesn't have to replace the old ways.
- From "who's in this bar with me right now" to "everyone in the entire world" but mostly Russian spam bots, Only Fans, and 'Influencers' 🤮
  FYFY
  
  You forgot 'South East Asian and African women GPS spoofing their way to matching with Western men with the aim of getting a spousal visa in mind.'
  That's what 65% of my matches on dating apps are. The other 35% are fake accounts using photos stolen from a model's Instagram or Weibo. Unfortunately the mobile nature of modern dating apps makes it far more difficult to run a reverse image search and weed out those fakes. But generally if I match with someone hot enough to look like a model, I'm automatically suspicious.
  This isn't me having a preference. I just don't want a long distance relationship with somebody who lives 5000+ miles away. Been there, done that.
  I used to date a Japanese lady who came to the UK on a student visa to do a foreign exchange year. Our relationship fell apart the moment we finally closed the gap.
  Also, I've known ladies who have married foreign spouses and the ordeal they've been put through by the Home Office to bring their husbands to the UK. I don't want to have to surrender years of private chat logs to the government and be interrogated for hours because of their crackdown upon mail order brides.
  
  He got the 110% match rizz
  
  I just realized that I fail at basic maths and counted to 110, not 100.
  It's more of a problem with Okcupid than anything else. Match drove that website to the ground once they acquired it.
  Customer Support gifted me a month of Premium half a year ago after a really bad experience I had with another user harassing me. I found out that nearly all of the 100+ likes I had on my Okcupid profile were from ladies who didn't even live on the same continent as me. They'd just switch cities and countries all the time, then disclose where they actually lived in their profile description.
  GPS spoofing is incredibly easy to pull off, and despite it literally being a violation of the site's Community Guidelines, their customer service team really don't give a shit. Quote:
  Also, your profile details such as age, height, location, etc. must be accurate. We restrict searching and showing profiles based on mutual fit for details like age, location, gender, and orientation for a reason: so that you can find a person who is looking for someone just like you. Changing these details to appear in searches that you would not otherwise is not allowed and will result in your profile being banned.
  I logged into my account for the first time in about two months. I still see matches I reported that remain unbanned to this day.
  THEY HAVE THE CHEEK TO CHARGE £20 - £40 A MONTH FOR PREMIUM.
  
  They're saying he can't count on anyone any more.

156 comments