What are the worst names you could give a baby boy?

X Æ A-12

Bob, short for Bobert. So that every time he has to say his full name to anyone on the phone or fill out forms somewhere, he has to repeatedly explain that, no, it's not Robert, it's Bobert.

Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--

Spez.

Sue.

X Æ A-12

Pubert

Adolf

I once knew someone who refused to tell anyone the name they chose before the baby was born (absolutely valid choice, IMO). The grandpa-to-be chose to exclusively refer to the fetus as Beelzebub.

• Spanko
• Twallypod
• Roooooo
• Meganginipple
• Nipple
• Craig
• Nart
• Puddin
• Sue
• Ticksy
• Ewwgross

First, anything ending in -ayden. 2-4, I'm just going to list a few real names I've heard. Middles included.

Wynter Obsidian

Ocean Zebediah

Buck Shot

X Æ A-12

Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz

Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--

Open a random page in any P. G. Wodehouse novel and you’re good to go! Gussie Fink-Nottle, Bingo Little, Kipper Herring, Stiffy Byng. Or, my personal fave, add in an extra letter like he did for his character Psmith, where, he explains, the “p” is silent, "as in pshrimp.”

Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyō-matsu Unrai-matsu Fūrai-matsu Kū-Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke

A friend went with Gilbert, which seems like a strong contender.

Donald

Jimothy

Tomathan

Kevincent

Jachary

Esteburt

Stanthony

Organ farm #17.

I know of someone who named her son "Scrotum".

There's a classic Japanese story about a boy called Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no Burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke. That's all the first name. No nicknames allowed.

Biggus And then convince them to change their last name into Dikkus

Frothcunt

We had a mother and baby possum on our fence that we nicknamed Methany and Rolexxus.

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm. Assuming they live in Ulm. If not, adjust name accordingly.

How about "Naughtius Maximus"?

Deuteronomy

• J'nathan
• Lester
• Krang
• Schawghn - pronounced Sean
• Sponk - halfway between Spock and Spunk
• Clippy
• Korn
• Hootenanny
• Dan-The-Man - short for Danimal-The-One-And-Only-Manimal
• Skeet

Donald Trump Elon Musk

Any "creative" spelling of a common name.

e.g., Jahnithun.

Any very foreign sounding name is a great contender: Ashurbanipal, Nebuchadnezzar, Nabopolassar.

Judas is a good option, too. I think it's even illegal to name your child Judas in Germany.

Any DBZ character works. Trunks in an english speaking country would be spot on.

For a tropical real life villain, Jair Bolsonaro.

Alexa That's just gotta be annoying for everyone when your smart home device kicks into action every time your name is called.

Kevin

Rizz

Slaydolf

Chodebert

Just take any normal name and putt a z at the end to spice it up.

Kevinz Frankz Markz

Severus.

Joey Jojo Junior Shabadoo

Pubert

Tikki Tikki Tembo-no Sa Rembo-chari Bari Ruchi-pip Peri Pembo

Philbert

Still gotta go with Streetlamp LaMoose.

Breighdyn

Pronounced bray-den

Sh'artgnan

💩. Gotta make sure the middle name is an emoji too, none of this "he can go by his middle name if he doesn't like his first name" nonsense.

Richard Dickson

Well, Adolf has to be up there.

Anything that ends up with the initials "BJ".

Preserved Fish

Lemmy

Mike Cox

William Joseph James Robert.

It sounds distinguished until you realize the diminutive is Billy Joe Jim Bob. Which incidentally is really fun to say fast.

Great for a meme but not so great for in real life: Cthulhu All-Spark

https://www.businessinsider.com/internet-names-couples-baby-cthulhu-all-spark-2014-4?IR=T

According to Mr. Cash, Sue.

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

Adolf Hitler

Something with emojis is sure to never go out of style:

B😉bby

Raye Pember.

Permanently Deleted

Batman bin Suparman

Beef.

Because that’s a girl’s name, idiots.

Spare Parts

Angus.

Cthulu

Ham

Any name that can be spelled a million different ways

There is a Pokemon competitive player named Chuppa Cross IV. Which means not only that somebody was unironically named Chuppa, but also his father, and his grandfather, and his greatgrandfather as well.

Permanently Deleted

5 names at once.

Bumperpucker

Appropriation

Gurner

Clap

Clippy

Pickles

Masher

Guana

Iguana

Hennard.

Keith

Squemp

Bongchez

Libble

Grover

Worm

Big Dawg

Cheese

Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemuhwem Osas

Spewart

I will not elaborate

Tiktok Lad, Reddit guy, Discord mod

Jennifer

Mump

Skibblezz DeWicket

Fang

ʘ LATIN LETTER BILABIAL CLICK

Maven, given they are Java developers

Lithium

Ethelbert, Cummerbund, Kevin

Based off the Jeffs I've known... Jeff.

Testicles, but pronounced like Hercules ("tes-ti-CLEEZ")

sleggar
jamitov
bajeena
revive
bring
harry

Child Tax Credit, or, ChiTaC (Cheetah C) for short.

Keith

I'd take Steve over any of the ...ayden (Jayden and the like) names, but I'd be hesitant to send it as a joke, as it might give them ideas.

Ken or Nigel are probably safe.

Fly-debate https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/09/puritan-names-lists-of-bizarre-religious-nomenclature-used-by-puritans.html

Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie

Chad, Chet, Chaz, the unbroly Trinity

Cunt

edit: why are you downvoting me? I'm right.

Permanently Deleted

Odigbu buduwe

Some of the university challenge surnames are great, especially with the announcer who tries to get them out as fast as possible.

https://youtu.be/KEzXOt6IQGQ?feature=shared

Felcher Mycal (Michael), Jaxsyn (Jackson), etc Ryler/Rylen Axton/Joxton Grond

For very different reasons:

Edward Jacob

Elon

Donald

Raven

Leonard

Ismael

Vladimir

Christian

Jim Bob

Chad

Kevin

Strongest Avenger

Pud'n

Popieanus, after the Roman politician. Yes, it's pronounced "poopy anus".

Stankmouth

Adelbert

Splooge

My dad wanted to name me 'Bentley' at some point. Glad my mum's stubborn and didn't let that happen.

Mandatory Carlin https://youtu.be/oo8CrY_ZfFk?si=3SOIYzRebZDqupGq

Blood Bank

Petrus.

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm

Guy

Rectus

hunter

Leslie Valerie Sally